The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Foodie

The Struggles Of Dating When You’re A Foodie

I’ll admit it — I’m a foodie. I love artisanal whiskey, adore noshing on a good steak, and can go tete-a-tete with those on the bleeding edge of culinary trends. Being a foodie is something that defines you… and sadly can make dating a lot more difficult, depending on how far you take it. If you’re a hardcore foodie, you’ve probably had these things happen at least once — I know I have!

  1. Being told that you’re only dating a guy for a free expensive dinner after a date flops. I’ve been accused of this before, and this is really impressive on a number of levels, primarily because I paid for my own meal that night. When you’re a foodie, you can’t help but choose something other than Applebee’s for drinks and hors d’oeuvres… even if it’s for a first date.
  2. The high, high cost of dating. Foodies love to eat, drink good wine, and take part in tastings. These things cost a lot more money than “Netflix and chill,” and sadly, not every date is down for that kind of expense list.
  3. Being totally disgusted when a potential date suggests going to a cheap chain restaurant for a first date. I’m not even going to try to mince words here: being told to meet up at a diner or at the Olive Garden for a first date is a dealbreaker for me. Guys, if you’re dating a foodie, do not assume that Olive Garden, Chipotle, or (God forbid) Taco Bell will cut it!
  4. Having to explain to your dates how to eat a certain food, or why a certain food is so special. While it can sometimes be fun and cute to explain to a guy how to enjoy fondue, there’s a certain point at which you get tired of explaining everything to him. After having had to explain to one of my former dates that scallops are not made out of chicken, I decided to draw the line at explaining what species we’re eating.
  5. The inevitable weight struggle that comes with being a hardcore foodie. Since reigniting my love of food, I’ve gained about 35 pounds. No regrets on my end, but I can definitely say that many guys wouldn’t approach me at my current size 12 frame. Oh well, considering the dating pool, it’s safe to say that food will usually beat out most guys, anyway.
  6. The mysterious way that dining eats up your time together. In the world of fine dining, a good meal can easily become a two, three, or even four hour experience. If you begin eating at 7 p.m., you might find that you’re both too sleepy to do much aside from go home and sleep after a big night out. Oh well, so much for clubbing…
  7. Being too critical of homemade food. This is a fail foodie move that only really occurs when a super-picky foodie has no filter or is actively trying to be mean. Foodies tend to date other foodies, so, let’s just say that you might end up with a couple of hurt feelings once in a while if you’re dating the wrong person.
  8. Being mortified when your date mispronounces a wine type at a tasting. “No, no, sweetie… it’s not a CHARDONNEY. It’s a CHARDONNAY. Now, about this wine… say Mer-low. Not Merlawt.”
  9. Not being able to talk about the food scene with your date. Generally speaking, a foodie will look pretty disappointed when she realizes that the guy across the table from her thinks Wolfgang Puck is a hockey player. Sure, you can talk about your food stuff with friends, but it’s just not the same, you know?
  10. Inadvertently shocking dates when you know about cuisine that isn’t associated with your nationality. “I love a nice tray of Shark Fin Dumplings.” “Wait, what? How do you know about that?” “…I’ve been eating it for years?”
  11. Having to explain that Chipotle isn’t gourmet food. It’s OK as far as fast food goes, but it’s not gourmet. End of discussion.
  12. Having dates assume that you’re obsessed with kale and food trucks. Not all foodies eat kale. Not all of us really are too into the food truck thing, either. We do get stereotyped, folks! All we do is obsess over good food… it doesn’t have to be kale, damnit!
  13. Trying to date people with food restrictions. While this can work if you’re a vegan foodie, most foodies I’ve met can’t handle dating people who can only eat a handful of things. Personally, my love of meat and liquor would make me totally incompatible with a vegan who refuses to drink. It’s just too much of a lifestyle clash.
  14. Being told by dates that you eat weird stuff. Oh well, more snails for the foodie, I guess…
  15. Being totally turned off by a date’s lack of food knowledge. If you’ve called off a date because your date couldn’t even pronounce half of the things on the menu, congrats! You’re a foodie!
Ossiana Tepfenhart works as an editor to FunNewJersey's magazine, and has been working with a massive series of lifestyle sites including Woman Around Town and Guff.com