The Struggles Of Being Totally in Love With A Guy You’ll Never Be Able To Tell About Your Feelings

You have a serious case of the feels for the guy but he’s got a girlfriend or he’s your best friend and you just don’t wanna go there. Whatever the case, you’re stuck with a huge box of unrequited love that’s so heavy to carry around, it’s giving you Popeye arms. Ugh. The struggle is real.

  1. You can’t be normal around him. It’s so hard to keep your feelings under wraps. Sometimes you’re sure they sneak out a bit, like when he says something flattering and you can’t help but blush. Ugh. You always have to erase those slip-ups from his mind by acting like the platonic friend or one of the guys so he doesn’t get the hint that you like him. It’s exhausting.
  2. You analyze everything he does to death. You’re always thinking about his words and actions, trying to find any thread of interest in you. Ugh. It’s like a simple “hey” can be analyzed through different lenses until you feel like you’re in a Dan Brown movie. But the plot twist is always that the signs and codes always lead you to a dead-end.
  3. You get caught up in a dream. You regularly find yourself daydreaming about how he looks without a shirt on or what it would be like if you were dating him. You might not realize it, but you’re making him out to be some sort of perfect guy who’s on a pedestal when in reality, he might not even be a very good boyfriend.
  4. You can’t drink around him. When you’re out with him as friends, you have to keep booze away from you out of fear that you’ll get horribly drunk and confess your feelings for him. The thought alone is enough to scar you for life.
  5. You feel like a stalker. When he asks if he can quickly use your laptop or phone to check something on the internet, you silently freak out. You worry that his Facebook and Instagram pages will come up on your browsing history. Ugh.
  6. You just can’t bring yourself to date. When a guy hits on you at the club or bookstore, you’re flattered but just can’t imagine being with anyone else. You hate that this guy’s on your mind and in your heart so much but you just don’t know how to feel excited about dating other guys.
  7. You want to kill happy couples. When your friend meets a new guy and they’re mad about each other, it sort of pushes you to want to date, but you just don’t know how to switch off your feelings for your crush! It causes you to hate those happy couples who seem to have it all sorted out. Does everyone out there have a breezy relationship, for goodness’ sake? Cynical, much?
  8. You don’t know if you can be friends. Yes, you love spending time with him, but sometimes you really question if you can be platonic friends with this guy. You’d feel so guilty at ending the friendship because it’s such a great one, but you also feel sad all the time because it’s absolute torture being “just friends.”
  9. You can never walk away. When you decide to cut him out of your life, instead of helping you move on, it makes you feel worse! You beat yourself up for throwing him out of your life and start to miss his friendship. When you get back into the friendship, you enjoy it for five minutes before you start pining for him again.
  10. You fear he’s going to date someone else. If he’s single, you dread the day when he tells you that he’s dating someone or you see his relationship status change on Facebook. You don’t think you’d be able to handle that and make yourself sick about how you’ll deal.
  11. You sabotage your relationships. When you finally do get out there and date someone else, like if your crush gets a GF, you can’t help but sabotage your relationships. You feel like you’re just wasting time with those guys, hoping that your crush will get jealous and snap you up. Ugh.
  12. You write long texts to him, that you always delete. It’s therapeutic to get your feelings out in a letter or text, but you always end up having to delete or trash them afterward. You know that it would be way too complicated and embarrassing if you had to let your crush read your words. However, sometimes you wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just say what’s on your mind and let the cards fall where they may. Hmm.
  13. You ask the questions you don’t want answers to. Sometimes you can’t help but ask him if he has anyone on the dating horizon or where he was on Friday night, even though you’re terrified of the answer. But it’s like a car crash: you know you shouldn’t look but you just can’t divert your gaze!
  14. You try to be the supportive friend, but… You give him advice, talk to him late at night when he needs someone to listen to his issues, and are always there for him. What do you get for your efforts? He tells you what an amazing friend you are. Great.
  15. Your friends just don’t get it. When you tell your friends about your feelings for this guy, they tell you to get over it and move on. They just don’t seem to understand how difficult it is, so you stop confiding in them, which further isolates you. Welcome to Unrequited Love Island, population: you.
  16. You trip yourself up. You spent a great day with your crush and felt like it was amazing because of how much you bonded. But then you got home and were hit with the realization again: he’s not yours. To him, the day was just fun, not some stepping stone to a relationship. Those “stepping stones” are really tripping you up, and worst of all they’re all in your head!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.