37 Surprising Signs Someone Secretly Loves You

When you’ve been dating someone for a while or even been in a proper relationship with them for a few months or longer, it’s natural to look for little signs that they don’t just like you but that they actually love you. While hearing those three little words would be the easiest way to assuage your worries and to make you super happy, sometimes vocalizing feelings isn’t always easy. In this case, you have to pay attention to the person’s actions, which often shed much more light.

While you probably sense the other person’s love and care for you in the small, everyday things they do, you might also miss out on meaningful actions that showcase just how special you really are to them. Read on to discover some not-so-obvious signs someone really loves you that you should never take for granted.

Signs someone (not-so-) secretly loves you

1. They remember the little things.

We’ve all had moments when we’ve mentioned a random preference, like how we take our coffee or our favorite obscure movie, and then forgot about it. However, when someone loves you, they’ll remember. You might find them bringing you your coffee just the way you like it or surprising you with a DVD of that hard-to-find film. It’s in these tiny remembrances that you see how attentively they listen when you speak.

2. They send you random texts just to check in.

You know those days when you’re swamped with work and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders? Suddenly, your phone pings with a simple “Hey, how’s your day going?” from them. It might seem like a mundane check-in, but it’s their way of letting you know that they’re thinking about you amidst their own busy day.

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4. Their eyes light up when you enter the room.

Ah, the power of non-verbal communication. It might be something you brush off, but the next time you enter a room, watch their eyes. If they light up or if their face breaks into a spontaneous smile, it’s a telltale sign that your presence delights them. And isn’t that what love often feels like? A light that turns on when our favorite person is around?

5. They make time for you no matter how busy you are.

Time is a precious commodity, and given how hectic pretty much everyone’s lives are, it’s easy for schedules to get jam-packed. But if someone’s consistently carving out time just to be with you—even if it’s a quick lunch during a workday or a brief call before bedtime—it’s a strong indicator that they prioritize your connection.

6. Compromise is their middle name.

Let’s be real: nobody loves giving up their preferred restaurant or movie choice all the time. But when you notice they’re frequently making compromises to ensure you’re happy or comfortable, it’s a big sign. They’re signaling that your happiness and contentment mean as much (if not more) to them as their own.

7. They love celebrating your successes.

Ever had good news and the first person you wanted to share it with was them? Flip the script. When you succeed, they’re ecstatic—as if they just won the lottery. This selfless joy in your accomplishments, without a hint of jealousy, is the hallmark of love.

8. They have your back and are quick to stand up for you.

We aren’t just talking about the big confrontations. It could be as simple as correcting someone who pronounced your name wrong or subtly defending a viewpoint they know you hold dear. Their need to ensure you’re respected is an underrated, yet powerful, show of love.

9. They give you subtle touches and glances that show they care.

Sometimes, words aren’t needed. A gentle squeeze of your hand, a comforting pat on the back, or a playful nudge can convey volumes. These spontaneous, affectionate gestures show they’re naturally inclined to be close to you, and cherish the connection you share.

10. They practice active listening and genuine curiosity when you speak.

We’ve all been in those conversations where someone asks a question, but they’re clearly waiting for their turn to speak. When someone truly loves you, they actively listen. Their questions are deeper, probing, and come from a genuine place of curiosity about your world. They remember last week’s rant about a coworker or that story from your childhood. It’s because your words are not just sound to them; they truly cherish the things you say.

11. They notice the little changes you make.

Got a new haircut? Wearing a new outfit? They’re the first to comment. Not in a shallow or superficial way, but they genuinely notice the changes, big or small, in your life. Whether it’s a slight change in mood or a major life decision, they’re always in tune with your evolution.

12. The silences you share are never uncomfortable.

Conversations are essential, but there’s a unique kind of intimacy in shared silence. Whether you’re both reading on the couch, taking a quiet walk, or just gazing at the stars, the silence isn’t awkward. It’s comfortable and speaks of a deep bond where words aren’t always needed.

13. They’re always there for you during tough times.

When the world feels like it’s collapsing around you, they’re there. Even if they can’t change the situation, their mere presence or words of support bring comfort. It’s a sign they’re deeply invested in your well-being and want to be your safe harbor in a storm.

14. They celebrate your quirks.

That goofy dance you do when you’re excited? The way you mispronounce certain words? While others might find these quirks odd, they absolutely adore them. They might even playfully mimic you from time to time. It’s because these idiosyncrasies make you, well, you. And they love every unique part.

15. They introduce you to their world.

Whether it’s their favorite childhood book, a beloved hobby, or even their family, they want to share it with you. By introducing you to these personal aspects, they’re opening up, showing vulnerability, and inviting you deeper into their life.

16. They value your opinion and always want to hear it.

From deciding on a new job offer to picking out their next read, they constantly seek your advice. It’s not about dependency; it’s about valuing your perspective. They respect your insights and genuinely want to know what you think.

17. They tag you in memes and posts online.

It’s a digital age thing! But every time they stumble upon a funny meme, a cute video, or an article they think you’d find interesting, you’re the first person they want to share it with. It’s a small gesture, but it means they’re constantly thinking of what would make you smile or ponder.

18. They know your coffee order by heart.

It’s not just about buying you a drink. It’s the fact they remember you take a splash of oat milk, two sugars, and a hint of caramel in your latte. It’s those little details that matter.

19. They always text to make sure you got home safely.

Ever got that “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe” message? It’s a simple but endearing way of them expressing concern for your well-being.

20. They keep your snack cupboard/drawer stocked with your favs.

Those chocolate chip cookies you love? Or that particular brand of chips? They magically appear in the cupboard because they’ve noticed and remembered your favorites.

21. They share their last bite of their favorite food.

It might seem minor, but offering you the last bite of their dessert or favorite dish is a small sacrifice that says, “I want you to enjoy this as much as I do.”

22. They say “we” a lot instead of “I.”

They might casually say, “We should try that new restaurant” or “When are we going on that road trip?”. It’s a simple shift in language, but it signifies they’re thinking in terms of partnership.

23. They save shows to watch with you.

Even if they’re tempted to binge-watch the next episode of that series you both started, they’ll wait because they want to experience it with you.

24. They have a playlist of songs that remind them of you.

They’ve got a playlist of songs that remind them of you, or perhaps it’s even songs you introduced them to. It’s a clear sign you’re on their mind, even in their musical choices.

25. They notice when you switch things up.

Maybe you wore earrings you usually don’t, or tried a new scent. It’s not a major change, but they notice and compliment you on it, showing they pay attention to the finer details.

26. They leave you little notes to show they care.

Finding a Post-it with a cheerful message on your laptop or a “thinking of you” note in your book? These are the small tokens that say a lot about how often you’re on their mind.

27. They return the cart for you at Trader Joe’s.

Ever gone grocery shopping together? They’ll make sure to return the shopping cart to its designated spot even if it’s a bit out of the way. This small action demonstrates respect for service workers (always a plus!) and a subtle way of teaching through example—a sign they care about the lessons you both share in the little moments.

28. They mimic your phrases or gestures, and not in a teasing way.

Over time, without even noticing, they might start picking up phrases or gestures that are distinctly ‘you’. It’s not mockery; it’s a subconscious reflection of how deeply intertwined your lives have become. These mimicries hint at how much your nuances have impacted their daily life.

29. They look after you when you’re feeling under the weather.

When you’re under the weather, they don’t just drop off medicine at your door. They remember you prefer honey lemon tea for a sore throat or that watching reruns of “Friends” makes you feel better. Their care package is tailor-made to your comfort.

30. They charge your phone when the battery’s getting low.

Notice your phone battery is almost dead? They’re already searching for your charger. It’s not about the act of plugging in; it’s recognizing a need and attending to it proactively because they understand the little stressors in your life.

31. They get excited when talking about future plans.

Whether it’s discussing vacations or deciding on the next holiday destination, they often imagine scenarios where you’re together. The narrative isn’t just about what they want but about creating shared experiences that both of you would cherish.

32. They love being part of your passions and hobbies.

Be it assisting in assembling that intricate DIY project, listening to your rants about a hobby, or patiently being the subject of your budding photography skills—they’re all in. Their patience isn’t just tolerance; it’s admiration for your passions and the desire to be part of them.

33. They act like your own personal alarm clock.

Have an early meeting or a flight to catch? They’ll set their alarm (even if they don’t need to wake up early) just to ensure you don’t oversleep. It’s about sharing responsibilities, even the tiny ones, to make your life easier.

34. They pick up your favorite stuff at the store without you even asking.

They’re at the bookstore and grab the latest release from your favorite author. Or perhaps they’re at the market and pick up those berries you love. These unprompted gestures highlight their instinct to think of what would make you happy.

35. They always go out of their way to feel connected to you.

They might not be into grand public displays of affection, but they’ll find subtle ways—a reassuring touch on the back, holding hands, or that look across a crowded room that’s just for you. It’s their way of grounding both of you in a shared bubble, even in public.

36. They’re your biggest cheerleader, especially when you’re around other people.

At a party or gathering, they’re the first to brag about your achievements, however minor they might be. Whether you baked an amazing cake or got a small promotion, they want the world to know how talented and incredible you are.

37. They get the car packed up for you when you’re going on a road trip.

Going on a long drive? They’re already organizing the backseat for maximum comfort. Your favorite snacks are within arm’s reach, there’s a cozy blanket in case you get cold, and they’ve curated a playlist you both love. The journey matters as much as the destination, and they want to make sure every moment you spend together, even in transit, is special.

38. They love sharing the most mundane moments with you.

It’s not just about sharing the highs or the lows; it’s also about those in-betweens. They’ll call you when they’re stuck in traffic just to chat or send you a photo of a random dog they saw on their lunch break because it reminded them of a joke you once shared. These moments aren’t necessarily eventful, but they highlight a profound truth: They want to experience the ordinary, everyday aspects of life with you.

So, how do you know if someone truly loves you?

The signs someone loves you aren’t always grandiose and over the top. Recognizing true love often lies not in the grand gestures, but in the quiet moments and subtle actions. It’s found in the way someone prioritizes your comfort, remembers the minutiae of your life, and shares even the mundane parts of their day with you. It’s in the sacrifices they make, the laughter you share, and the silent support they offer during trying times.

True love isn’t just about the butterflies in the beginning; it’s about the consistent sense of comfort and security that persist no matter how much time passes or how tough times become. When someone truly loves you, they don’t just tell you; they show you, day in and day out, in countless small ways that, when pieced together, paint a vibrant picture of deep affection and commitment.

Harper Stanley graduated from Eugene Lang College at The New School in NYC in 2006 with a degree in Media Studies and Literature and Critical Analysis. After graduating, she worked as an editorial assistant at The Atlantic before moving to the UK to work for the London Review of Books.

When she's not waxing poetic about literature, she's writing articles about dating, relationships, and other women's lifestyle topics to help make their lives better. While shocking, she really has somehow managed to avoid joining any social media apps — a fact she's slightly smug about.