Things Overthinkers Want Their Loved Ones To Know

Things Overthinkers Want Their Loved Ones To Know

Are you an overthinker? Do you know someone who is? It’s more than just a habit — it is a way of processing information that can often lead to high levels of anxiety and indecision. While it can be tough to deal with at times, overthinkers also have many strengths (which aren’t always immediately apparent). Here are some things that overthinkers want our loved ones to know.

1. We don’t overthink by choice.

Overthinking is not a switch we can simply turn off. It’s a part of how our brains process information. We often find ourselves caught in a loop of thoughts, analyzing every detail and imagining every possible outcome. It’s not something we choose or enjoy, and we often wish we could stop.

2. Silence doesn’t mean disinterest.

thoughtful man looking off to the side

When we’re quiet, it doesn’t mean we’re not interested in what’s happening around us. In fact, we’re most likely just engrossed in our thoughts, analyzing a conversation we had earlier or thinking about what to say next. Our silence is often a sign of engagement, not disinterest. Promise!

3. We’re not always negative.

Pensive young man looking off in the distance while out for a walk alone in a park in spring

Overthinking means we analyze everything, including negative outcomes. However, this doesn’t mean we’re pessimistic. We see potential problems not because we expect them to happen, but because we want to be prepared for them if they do. We don’t want to be caught off guard if something bad crops up if we could have mitigated it in any way.

4. Making decisions can sometimes be paralyzing.

The ability to consider every detail and outcome can make decision-making difficult for us. We can become paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice, so we become chronically indecisive. Please be patient with us during these times. Your support and understanding can help us feel more confident in our decisions (and our ability to make them in the first place).

5. Overthinking can be (and usually is) exhausting.

serious business guy looking to side

Overthinking requires a lot of mental energy. After a long day of constant thinking, we might need some time to ourselves to relax and recharge. It’s not that we’re antisocial; we just need some quiet time to let our minds rest. We know this seems like a foreign concept to many people, but we’re trying to maintain our equilibrium as best we can.

6. We really appreciate a bit of reassurance.

Senior mother consoling her daughter at home

Because we often imagine worst-case scenarios, we appreciate reassurance from the people we’re closest to. Hearing that things are okay or that we’re doing a good job can help quiet our anxious thoughts. Don’t underestimate the power of a few kind words. We’re not necessarily dependent on external validation, but it definitely feels nice.

7. We don’t always need advice.

mom and dad talking to adult kids

When we share our worries with you, we’re not necessarily looking for you to solve our problems or give us advice. Sometimes, we just need someone to listen and validate our feelings. Your empathy can be more helpful than any feedback you can give. Of course, if we ask for it, please feel free to give us your honest opinions.

8. We’re more than our thoughts.

While overthinking is a big part of our lives, it doesn’t define us. We have so many other amazing qualities and strengths. We’re creative, empathetic, and thorough, among other things. We hope you can see us for who we are beyond our overthinking. It’s tough, but know that we’re working on it.

9. Your support means everything.

Happy family, portrait or bonding hug and senior parents, mother or father in nature park, home backyard or house garden. Smile, man or retirement elderly in embrace profile picture, love or support

Overthinking can make us feel isolated at times. Your support and understanding can make a world of difference. By being patient, providing reassurance, and simply being there for us, you can help us manage our overthinking in a healthier way. It’s not your responsibility to solve the issue for us, and we’re well aware of that. However, we appreciate your hands on our backs while we find our way through.

10. There actually are benefits to overthinking!

Despite the challenges it brings, overthinking isn’t all bad. It helps us plan for the future, solve problems, and make careful decisions. So while we may struggle with overthinking at times, we also see it as a unique strength in many ways. In fact, you’ve probably seen the upsides of this tendency in your own life when we’ve come up with creative solutions to issues that have cropped up.

11. We realize we’re overthinking.

We know that we overthink, and we’re often aware of when we’re spiraling into a loop of excessive thoughts. We don’t need it pointed out. In reality, we really need support and understanding as we work through it.

12. We’re often our own worst critics.

guy with his palm on his cheek

Our tendency to overthink often means that we’re hard on ourselves. We analyze our actions and words critically, and we often dwell on our mistakes. Know that we’re trying to improve and learn from these moments, not just dwelling on them. It may not seem like it from the outside, but it’s true.

13. We’re highly observant.

thoughtful woman working at laptop

Our overthinking often makes us extremely perceptive of the people and things around us. We notice details that other people don’t usually pick up on, and we’re often able to notice subtleties in conversations or situations. This can sometimes be a strength, but it can also contribute to our overthinking.

14. We can be perfectionists at times.

Our desire to consider all possible outcomes and scenarios can make us strive for perfection. While this can drive us to produce high-quality work, it can also create high levels of stress and anxiety. Your reassurance that it’s okay to be less than perfect can be very comforting.

15. We really appreciate honesty.

Overthinkers often worry about what other people are thinking even if we logically realize this is a fool’s errand. Being open and honest with us can help alleviate some of our anxieties. We appreciate when you’re straightforward because it gives us less room to overthink and speculate.

16. We’re usually deep thinkers.

Our overthinking often leads us to profound insights and deep thoughts. We tend to ruminate on life’s big questions and enjoy having in-depth, meaningful conversations. Engaging with us on this level can be a really nice way to show your support and understanding.

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Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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