I Thought I Needed A Relationship To Be Happy Until I Remembered These 8 Things

If you’re someone that has always jumped from one serious relationship to another, it can be difficult to imagine yourself finding happiness when you’re finally single. Contrary to what you might think or even what other people might tell you, you don’t need to have a romantic partner to feel complete. In fact, you might even discover that you feel more whole being alone than you ever did in a relationship – I certainly did!

  1. Dating yourself can be so much more fun. You’ve probably heard the term “date yourself” before, but have you actually tried it? Sometimes the main thing that you miss about a relationship once it’s over is how much fun it is to go out, to be spoiled and surprised, and just to feel like a queen. Well, guess what? You don’t need a relationship to have all of that. When you’re dating yourself, you show yourself all of the love and care a partner would and do things like take yourself out to dinner, buy yourself gifts, and shower yourself with compliments and praise. The experience is amazing and you’re totally worth it.
  2. Other relationships can be just as meaningful. Just because you aren’t in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t have meaningful connections with other people. Use your time of singleness to really bond with the important people in your life whether that’s your family or your friends. Oftentimes in relationships, we can unintentionally ignore or cast aside the other people in our lives because we are so invested in our relationships. Sometimes a good friend can make you feel just as loved as a romantic partner.
  3. Depending on a partner for fulfillment is never good. If all you’ve ever known is relationships, you may be worried that you won’t feel complete or fulfilled without a partner but the truth is, we should never rely on another person to make us feel like we’re worth something. If you make someone your purpose, you’ll rely on them for everything including your confidence, your self-worth, and your happiness. Happiness and purpose have to come from within or they will never be genuine. Sometimes a period of singleness can allow you to find your own calling and finally feel complete within yourself.
  4. Being single allows you to work on yourself. Being in a relationship can be wonderful, but when you’re so wrapped up in love, it can be hard to remember to give yourself that time and attention that you deserve and to really focus on the aspects of your life that you want to improve on. When you’re single, you have the time to really make yourself the center of your own world and explore all the different parts of you that might still be undiscovered. You can learn so much about yourself during singleness and that can, in turn, make your future relationships even better.
  5. You don’t need validation from anyone except yourself. In relationships, you can often rely on your partners for validation and as the source of your self-worth. This is both unhealthy and unnecessary. It’s important to always remind yourself that the only person that you should be seeking approval from is yourself, whether you’re in a relationship or not. It’s good to seek advice from those that you love but you can’t base your entire opinion of yourself on what anyone thinks. Your self-worth should always come from within.
  6. A relationship won’t fix all of your problems. It’s easy to think that falling in love or even being infatuated with someone will cause all of our internal struggles and problems to magically disappear, but this just isn’t true. Love can make life better and it can definitely make the difficult things that we encounter easier to deal with but, at the end of the day, we have to be able to fix what’s wrong in our lives on our own. It’s possible to be in love and to also be unhappy. If the only reason you want to be in a relationship is that you think it’ll make your life perfect, it sounds like you’ve got some work to do on yourself before you’re ready for love again.
  7. There’s nothing shameful about choosing to be alone. Anyone who has spent a period of time single and really let themselves enjoy the time alone and let it resonate with themselves will most likely tell you that it was one of the best times of their lives. Society can often make us feel like if we’re choosing to be alone that we’re not normal or slap some ridiculous name on it like, “spinster”. The reality is, there’s nothing wrong with choosing singleness while you figure yourself out and there’s definitely no timetable on when you have to be ready to find someone again. If you’re feeling pressure to link up with someone right away, just do your best to ignore it and let yourself decide when the time is right for you.
  8. You have the time to figure out what you want. People who jump from one relationship to the next for whatever reason often don’t give themselves the time to really think about what didn’t work out in their last relationship and what they want differently from future partners. Being single gives you a great opportunity to think about what kind of relationships you want and what qualities you’ll be looking for in your partners from here on out. If you give yourself the chance to be picky, you can make sure that the next person you date is perfect for you.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.