There’s No One More Thoughtful And Sweet Than A Guy Who’s Trying To Get A Woman Into Bed

Straight ladies, we’ve all been there. You meet a good looking guy and start chatting. You like him enough, but you can tell he’s got ulterior motives. After all, why else would he be so charming, thoughtful, and sweet? Turns out, he’s pretty sure that’s all it takes to get a woman into bed. (The sad part is, sometimes he’s right.)

  1. He knows how to turn on the charm. You would think he was a politician, that’s how much superficial charm this guy has. He’s affable, smiley, and just all around likeable. This is a well-practiced routine, honed over time by experience. What approach is most likely to make him successful in convincing a woman to get into bed with him? You’re about to find out.
  2. He wants to buy you a drink. Of course he does. After all, in his mind, if he shells out $10 on a sparkly cocktail (which probably isn’t even what you like, despite his assumptions) on you, then you owe him. In his mind, his generosity is purely transactional: if a woman owes him, she simply repays him by hopping into bed with him. It’s warped, ridiculous, and really gross, but it’s the truth. Of course, if you reject him, he’ll probably hit up the mensrights subreddit and complain about how all women are worthless golddiggers, but that’s not your problem.
  3. He thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. I mean, obviously you’re hot, but he’s laying it on so thick you’re starting to feel like Margot Robbie or something. He can’t stop complimenting how blue your eyes are, how much your smile lights up the room, yada yada. He doesn’t realize that his effusiveness comes off as fake, of course.
  4. He laughs at every one of your jokes, even the ones that obviously aren’t funny. You’re a riot sometimes, but it wouldn’t matter if you were telling children’s knock-knock jokes here. A guy who wants to get you into bed makes you wonder if you should have gone into stand-up comedy or something, that’s how hard he’s laughing. Again, he considers this to be flattering, not realizing you have enough intelligence to recognize when you’re not being all that amusing.
  5. He’s a sensitive soul who’s been hurt by love. In addition to laying on the charm, expect a guy who’s turned trying to get a woman into bed into an art to try and pull at your heart strings as well. You see, his ex cheated on him and he was so heartbroken that he thought he’d never love again. However, he just can’t help but wear his heart on his sleeve and keep his dream of finding real love alive. Are you really going to fall for this?
  6. He can’t believe he’s finally met someone he connects with. He’s been out with so many women who just don’t “get him” but now that he’s met you, it’s restored his faith in dating. You’re exactly the kind of woman he always hoped the find (and exactly the kind he hopes he’ll get to take to bed), isn’t that amazing?
  7. He hasn’t felt like this in a long time. It’s so crazy that he’s so into you so quickly. Usually it takes him so long to really warm up to a woman, but with you, he just felt it right away. Do you feel it too? If you don’t, he’ll try to convince you why you should. You’re basically the woman of his dreams — you should belong (in bed) together.
  8. He hasn’t noticed any of the other women in the room because he only has eyes for you. Never mind the fact that even the most loyal boyfriends/husbands still very much notice and appreciate other attractive women. This guy insists that other women might as well not even exist because you’re the only one his eyes can see. Have you ever heard such bullsh-t?
  9. He’s not just saying this because he wants to sleep with you, haha! If he’s one of the more self-aware guys who try to trick women into sleeping with them, he’ll try all of the above moves and then insist that he’s being totally sincere and definitely not just saying this because he wants to have sex with you. He really means it! (Read: he doesn’t mean it.)
  10. Once you fall for it, he’ll lose interest. Look, we’ve all been there. Sometimes you’re kinda horny and he’s not the worst looking guy even if he is full of crap, so you decide to give in. The problem is that once this guy gets a woman (in this case you) into bed with him, he’ll consider that a job well done and he’ll be on to the next one. Ah well, you live, you learn.

Here’s what really gets a woman into bed that many men don’t realize

  1. Time This is 2022 and there are, of course, plenty of women who are in to casual sex. If you’re not one of them, you need a guy who’s willing to take his time to let you get comfortable with him and to build up the level of trust and intimacy that makes a woman want to hop into bed with him. That might be a few weeks, it might be a couple of months. Who knows?
  2. Effort Most women need more than a few cheesy pickup lines to want to sleep with a guy. He needs to put in effort for more than a couple of hours, and that effort needs to consist of more than false flattery and superficial charm. He should actually show interest in getting to know you, make plans to take you out, and prove that he’s around for more than just getting laid.
  3. Patience It takes time to get a woman into bed, but you wouldn’t know that by how fast some guys try to move. He needs to realize that that kind of connection isn’t instantaneous and that being annoyed or throwing a fit because you don’t want to have sex with him right away is only going to make you run for the hills.
  4. Chemistry Just because he’s taken an interest in you doesn’t mean you’re necessarily going to feel the same. It’s unlikely that a woman will hop in bed with a guy when there’s no chemistry there. Why would she? While many guys can get their rocks off with any willing body, that’s definitely not the case for women.
  5. Consistency He can’t lay it on thick one night only to ignore you for the next several days and then come around again expecting you to fall at his feet. If he wants to be with you and have the chance to sleep with you, he’ll have to show up and show some consistency.
Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill