I may have been the one to pull the plug on our relationship (or almost relationship — who knows anymore), but that doesn’t mean saying goodbye didn’t totally suck. You were a bright spot in a sea of bad first dates and the first time I got excited about the possibility of love actually happening in so long. Of course, things weren’t as magical as they seemed and you ended up messing up any chance we had of happiness. Want me back? You’ll have to do the work.
- Man up. You’re not the first guy to act more like a man-child than a man, and you unfortunately won’t be the last. But if you want me back in your world, you definitely need to stop acting so lazy. Move out, learn to fend for yourself and if I make you dinner, maybe bring a bottle of wine. It’s not exactly rocket science.
- Tell me you like me. It doesn’t seem to crazy to expect this, and yet you only said this once. You need to be a little more expressive if you want things to work out with someone. Being so afraid of your feelings is a recipe for a break-up, not true love.
- Talk, don’t text. You proved to me that real relationships need to happen face-to-face and not through two iPhones. I would never take you back unless you told me what I wanted/needed to hear… not in a text message, not through Facebook, but to my actual human face.
- Think about the future. We planned dates on the fly, often for the next night, and never talked about the future. We didn’t say what we wanted to happen in our careers or mention our dream vacation spots or even talk about what we could do together as a couple. If you want a second chance, you probably need to start thinking about our future and fast.
- Make an effort. Don’t expect me to decide all the dates because that’s just not happening anymore. I did that and that’s over. Putting thought and effort into a growing relationship doesn’t make you a loser, it makes you smart.
- Stop looking in the mirror. Not literally, of course. But you might as well have been smiling at your reflection the whole time we were together. You were pretty narcissistic and I’m not the first girl to fall for it. If you want a second shot, try thinking about something other than yourself.
- Give me some space. I love cute texts and emojis as much as the next girl but that should never be a 24/7, morning noon and night (and midnight) thing. We would never work unless you gave me some space and stopped contacting me so much.
- Have more fun. I don’t want a boyfriend who doesn’t enjoy life. I absolutely adore every single day that I’m here and negativity doesn’t do it for me. In the words of my hero, we would never get back together unless you learned to let your guard down and smile more. Otherwise, hope you’re happy with your single status, because that’s how it’s going to stay.