After being with my ex-fiancé for two solid and traumatizing years, I felt like I needed a lobotomy, but I stayed single for three years instead. I decided not to invest in anyone except myself. I never realized how good being single so long could be until these things happened to me during my time alone:
- I Reconnected With My Spirituality. Reconnecting with the universe and whatever god you believe in can totally reinvent how you see yourself and the world. Working in a morning and evening meditation completely transformed my life. I’m able to focus on my future without the distraction of a recent fight with my partner.
- I Lost The Weight I Had Gained. After breaking off my relationship, I used that extra time to get back into fitness. I started slow and built my way back to where I was before I met him. I lost the dedication to myself when we were constantly fighting and arguing, but thankfully I was able to reclaim it once he was out of my life.
- I Fixed My Credit Score And Starting Saving Money. I was so naïve when it came to my income, debt, and my student loan bills. Being a bartender, I always knew I would make cash the next shift, so I never saved anything. I also used all my income and spent it on my partner. I would treat us to dinners and go crazy for holidays and birthdays. After we split, I stopping going out and shopping, downloaded a credit tracker, and got my financial life together.
- I Stopped Idolizing My Ex. When I first broke up with my ex, I blamed everything that went wrong on myself – and he let me. I blamed it on that fact that I gained weight, was always tired, and always started the fights. I thought that he did nothing wrong and the reason the relationship crashed and burned was my fault. In reality, it was both of our faults. I stopped putting all the blame on myself once I spent a good bit of time as a single woman.
- I Became Happy For Others In Relationships. When I first lost my relationship, I was bitter. I hated love and happiness. I hated hearing about first dates and hookups. Now that I’ve moved past my bitter stage, I’m genuinely happy for my friends and strangers when it comes to love and marriage.
- I Re-Discovered My Passion For My Career. For many years, I took on a 9-to-5 job that I hated. I did it so that I could make rent money for me and my ex while still treating us to dinners and movies. After the breakup, I quit the dead-end job and got myself back to college for writing. I put myself through two years of college to finish my degree and am much happier than I ever was at my old job.
- I learned that Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely. I always loved being by myself until I met my ex. We never saw each other due to our opposite schedules. I became dependent on him for my happiness and my worth. If he wasn’t home, I would get panic attacks and think the house was haunted. After we broke up and I kicked him out of the apartment, I never felt more empowered than when I was alone taking on the household. It took a few weeks, but now I value my decompression time.
- I regained my confidence about finding love. Even though I was very bitter for a long time and still enjoy being alone, I know I’ll fall in love again. I’d never miss the opportunity to fall in love with my soulmate because I know he’s out there. I might not have believed it when I first became single, but now I know that love is out there waiting for me.
- I Started Focusing On My Relationships With My Family And Friends. When I was dating my ex, I never saw my family and friends because I was more focused on him. I was also exhausted from arguing and working two full-time jobs. I spent my down time sleeping and watching movies. Now that the toxic relationship is over, I spend all my extra time hanging out with my friends and having Sunday dinners with my family.
- I Learned That I Needed To Slow Down. During my exile time with my ex, I was always on the go. I was either at my desk job or bartending or fighting. Time passed so fast and it felt like I was on an accelerated ferris wheel. I couldn’t focus on anything except paying the bills and work. Now that I finally got away from that lifestyle, I slowed it all down and enjoyed life more.
