I’ve always had terrible luck in love—in fact, I’m starting to suspect it’s bad dating karma at this point. It’s like God wrote down “WILL NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP” when my spirit was released into the world because seriously, I feel cursed.
I must have done something really bad to a partner in my past life. It’s frustrating because I feel like I do all this stuff to get dates but it never seems to pan out. I’ve never been in love with someone. I don’t know what it feels like to look at someone lovingly and receive that adoration in return. To me, it’s something that only exists in the movies, not in real life. I’m almost 30 and the fact that I still haven’t experienced such a basic thing makes me think that I must have royally screwed something up in my past life to deserve this fate.
What if I’m just inherently boring? What if I’m just not worthy of being pursued by someone? I guess that could be a possibility. I look at other girls and think, Why them? How? How did they manage to find someone who wants to be with them? Am I really that hard to be around? I don’t think so. I have plenty of friends, I just can’t seem to get the romantic thing right.
I feel like I’m doing everything right. If I’m being honest, I feel like I’m doing everything and anything I can to make this romance thing work. I put myself out there, I go to places alone, I dress nicely, I smile and look at people. Why isn’t it working?! I’m telling you, I’m cursed.
I feel like I’m destined to be single or something. I’ve always felt like I was meant to be alone. Ever since I was in high school and everyone was pairing off and I wasn’t, I always thought that I was the exception to the rule. Everyone else gets to experience love except me. It’s kind of a pathetic way to be thinking and hey, maybe it’s my negative outlook that’s causing the bad karma. One thing I know for sure is that there’s definitely something keeping love from happening for me.
Unlucky in love would be an understatement. I hear girls say all the time that they’re unlucky in love or they have bad luck in dating. Meanwhile, I’m over here thinking they don’t know the meaning of bad luck. Try literally never having a relationship work out ever, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much positive thinking you do. It just never happens. This is and always has been my life.
Maybe I should broaden my horizons. I can’t help thinking that maybe I’m not in the right part of the world or something to attract a relationship. Maybe I’m shooting myself in the foot by living in a big city where everyone is polyamorous or just looking for a fling. I don’t know, but it really feels like I have some shield around me that says “DO NOT APPROACH.”
I’m always wondering what’s wrong with me. I wish someone would just tell me where I’m going wrong so I can make sense of it all. I try to tell myself all the time that I’m perfect and flawless, but clearly that’s not the case. If the issue is something I can and am willing to change, I’d like to know about it so I can correct it and move on with my life.
I feel like I’ve been waiting for the right guy for forever. Everyone always tells me to just wait and he’ll come when I least expect him. What if you’ve been waiting for almost 30 years and nothing has happened? That’s not just a bad luck thing, that’s like a messed up, family curse, black magic thing. I’m sure of it.
I’ve tried being more aggressive but it blew up in my face. I’ve resorted to doing things like asking guys out and going nuts on my dating apps, but it only makes me more stressed about my situation. It’s like no matter how hard I try, I’m just not meant to be in a relationship.