You’ve barely gone on one date with this guy and you’re already fantasizing about your future wedding. You know you’re jumping the gun, most likely, but it’s like you can’t help yourself. Here are some reasons you get attached way too quickly and advice on how to stop, take a deep breath, and calm down a bit. After all, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, right?
You have abandonment issues from childhood.
Maybe you had an absent parent, grew up in foster care, or otherwise just felt alone and abandoned by a parental figure as a child. Sure, you made it through and you’re a fighter because of it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still have a lasting affect on your adult relationships too. If you find that you get attached too quickly, it may be because you’re so used to losing people you love that you want to hold on tight to any that come your way now. It’s natural but ultimately unhealthy. Seeking therapy to work through those issues may be a good way to go when it comes to correcting this behavior.
You’re not comfortable with your own company.
RuPaul popularized an age-old saying: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” The crux of this is so true and worth remembering. If you don’t love, value, and appreciate yourself as a complete person all on your own, you’ll be uncomfortable in your own skin and your own company and feel that the only way around it is to get attached quickly to the people you date. Instead, work on discovering more about who you are and learn to love and appreciate her. When you feel good about you solo, you’ll be much less in a rush to become part of a couple.
You think a guy can make you happy.
Maybe the relationships you’ve seen modeled throughout your life have been based on this premise that being on your own sucks and leads to a sad, lonely life but being in a relationship means you’re automatically fulfilled and happy. It can be hard to realize what a farce that is and that the truth is that happiness has nothing to do with whether you’re single or in a romantic relationship. Believing the lie means you’re more likely to get attached too quickly. Instead, find happiness in other things in life such as your family and friends, your passions and hobbies, your work, your pets, etc. A guy should add to your happiness, not be responsible for the entirety of it.
You’re led with your heart rather than your head.
It’s so tough to remain logical when you meet someone you really like and who seems to like you back. This is especially true if you’ve been in so many bad relationships that you’ve lost count. No wonder you get attached so quickly – your heart beats a mile a minute even thinking of him! However, it’s important to listen to your head too. It’ll likely tell you that it’s important to slow down, get to know him, and to wait before you dive in head-first to protect yourself and avoid wasting your time and energy. Listen to your head a bit more.
You trust guys way too easily.
Natural skeptics will find it hard to relate to this one, but it’s possible that you give away your trust too easily, which gives you a false sense of familiarity with guys and causes you to attach yourself to them prematurely since you convince yourself that you know who they are and what they stand for. Remember that trust is earned, not given, and take your time. You’ll be glad you did.
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The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
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