Why You’re So Much More Than Your Relationship Status

As you get into your 20s and 30s, there seems to be a stigma associated with being single. It’s as if you’re somehow lacking something because you’re not in a romantic relationship even if you’re living an incredible life all on your own. While many of us begin to internalize these toxic (and frankly untrue) ideas and base our self-worth on whether or not we’re coupled up, it’s time to break free from that BS prison once and for all. You’re so much more than your relationship status, and you need to remember that.

  1. No one else can complete you. The idea that a couple is two halves of one whole is outdated, and it’s setting you up for disaster. No one else can make you happy — you have to be able to do that for yourself. When you do find a relationship, it won’t be with someone who completes you. They’ll be the cherry on top of an already bangin’ cake that you’ve baked all on your own.
  2. Your happiness is more important than anyone else’s. If you continuously put someone else’s needs ahead of your own, you’re eventually going to realize how much you’re missing out on and start resenting them. If everyone focused on their own happiness first, there would be a lot more successful relationships in general.
  3. There’s more to life than love. Every time you’re depressed about your love life, try to remember all the other great things you have going on in your life. The more you focus on the positive, the less little setbacks in love will affect you. You have incredible friends, an amazing career, a supportive family, hobbies and passions that make you feel fulfilled. Life is good.
  4. Being alone is better than being in a bad relationship. The thought of being alone might seem scary sometimes, but the fact is, being in a toxic relationship is a lot worse. No one will blame you for choosing to be alone, in fact, they might actually admire you for it. Chances are, you’ve been coupled up with someone before who was all wrong for you, and breaking up with them was like a massive weight lifted off your shoulders.
  5. You were born alone, and you’ll die alone. There are just some things in life that we have to experience on our own. Being independent will never be a bad thing, so quit thinking there’s something wrong with you for preferring to be alone. And hey, even if you’re not single by choice, the fact that you’re still comfortable with your own company is a beautiful thing.
  6.  “Single” is not a dirty word. As you get older, it gets less and less appealing to be “the single one.” While everyone else is pairing off, you might start to think you should too, but being in a relationship shouldn’t be about succumbing to peer pressure. Everyone’s on a different path in life, so follow your own and don’t compare it to anyone else’s.
  7. Your accomplishments are because of your hard work, no one else’s. It’s not like you got that promotion because you’re in a relationship, and you didn’t reach your goal of visiting every continent because you’re single.  You did those things because you worked for it, and they have nothing to do with whether you’re in a relationship or not.
  8. Relationships aren’t for everyone. Somehow we’ve gotten it in our heads that dating, living together, and getting married is the preferred life trajectory that everyone should want to follow. But if that doesn’t feel right for you, then you don’t have to do it.
  9. All relationships (good and bad) can teach you something. We all go through ups and downs in our love lives, but our failures don’t have to define us. As long as you take something good from every experience, then nothing is a waste of time. All of the failed relationships you’ve had in the past have informed your view on love moving forward, and your future relationships will benefit from that.
  10. No one is actually paying that much attention to your love life. You might think that people are scrutinizing your every move when it comes to dating, but they really aren’t. No one really cares about your relationship status. They have bigger things to worry about than how many failed first dates you’ve been on. And besides, we’ve all had dry spells, so you can rest easy with the knowledge that no one is judging you based on how long you’ve been single.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.