Single Women Become “Old Maids” While Unmarried Men Become Bachelors? That’s BS

What happens if you never find love? Some people really do end up “forever alone” and are just fine with that (or hoping it’ll change if they meet the right person) — but for some reason, society glorifies the bachelor lifestyle and brands women who are single into their 30s and 40s as crotchety old maids. Obviously, this is complete BS — here’s why:

  1. Men don’t want to end up alone either. Don’t let the players fool you. Most men want to find love too (eventually). At some point, the boys grow into men and actually want to settle down. “Bachelor” is just a term the male population made up to make themselves feel better about not finding love. It’s a defense mechanism and the word only continues to hold power because we let it.
  2. Women shouldn’t be shamed just for being single. There’s nothing wrong with a single woman. Still, every year around the holidays, there are those relatives who insist on asking you to name the exact reason you’re still single. Men get applauded for their independence while women are shamed for their presumed loneliness. What’s fair about that?
  3. Life isn’t about your marital status. There is more to a person’s life than whether or not they have a ring plastered on their left hand. A person’s relationship status shouldn’t define them. Maybe that bachelor is alone because he’s an a-hole. Maybe we’re alone because we put our careers first. You don’t know our lives until you’ve walked a mile in our shoes, so we really don’t need the judgment.
  4. A bachelor is just a guy who never found love. It’s nothing to aspire to. You shouldn’t dream of ending up alone — that’s one sad fantasy. Being a man doesn’t make the lack of love in your life any better, other than the fact that you might not feel as much pressure from society to settle down. Everyone deserves love. Regardless of gender, we all have a need for companionship.
  5. Women don’t need men to be considered successful. The lives of women shouldn’t be measured by whether or not they ever married. Our lives aren’t worth any less just because we haven’t promised forever to some guy. We’re still people and should be treated just the same. After all, there are bigger accomplishments in life than getting married.
  6. Marriage isn’t for everyone. The world would be a much better place if we all spent more time worrying about our own lives and choices instead of judging other people for theirs. Some people prefer not to marry. They satisfy their social needs through friends, extended family and even coworkers. That doesn’t mean our lives are worthless or any less fulfilled than anyone else’s.
  7. At the end of the day, your happiness depends on you. If we’re happy being single, then who cares? It’s automatically assumed that unmarried men are happy being single and that they wanted to live their lives alone, while unmarried women are pitied because OBVIOUSLY we wanted to find love but haven’t. Loneliness isn’t an ailment that only women can suffer. Men can be unhappily single too, just like a woman could live happily ever after all on her own. Relationship status doesn’t determine happiness — that’s down to the individual.
  8. It’s just plain sexist. Why is this still the societal norm? This way of thinking is so old-fashioned and frankly, it’s insulting to all women, married or not. A single woman shouldn’t be considered as lesser than a single man. We’re both in the same boat, so why are we held to different standards?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.