Why I Won’t Date A Guy Who Won’t Let Me Pick Up The Check

Why I Won’t Date A Guy Who Won’t Let Me Pick Up The Check ©iStock/puhhha

The “rule” that says men have to pay for dinner isn’t written in stone. I’d rather pay for the meal myself — it’s a chance to see how you react to a woman taking charge. If a guy won’t let me pick up the check, I won’t be dating him.

  1. I want a partner, not a sugar daddyI’m not going out on dates for the free meals. I’m doing it to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with — or at least a few fun nights with. Basically, I want a new best friend.
  2. I don’t want to be treated like a princess. I want to be treated like an equal. I’m capable of buying my own dinner, which is why I’m always going to offer to pick up the check. It’s more for me than it is for you.
  3. I’m proud of my job. I love my work, and I’m thrilled that I’m doing well enough to pay for my own food, so let me have my moment in the sun. Letting a woman pay isn’t going to emasculate you.
  4. Gender roles are old news. I don’t believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen or that a man should be the breadwinner, so how could I expect you to pay for me? We can’t keep the convenient gender roles. We need to destroy them all.
  5. I don’t want a man who’s intimidated by independent women. If you’re uncomfortable with me paying for your meal, then you probably won’t be okay with knowing I make more money than you or that I like to take control in the bedroom. I’m sorry, but I can’t date an alpha male that’s so stubborn he won’t let me pay, or at least go dutch.
  6. I don’t want to rely on a man for anything. Frankly, I don’t want to get used to the idea of my boyfriend paying for my meals. I don’t need a guy around to make me happy, to get me to orgasm, or to pick up the check. I can handle all of those things by myself, and I don’t want to forget it.
  7. You should have other things up your sleeve. Paying for me shouldn’t be your only way of pampering me, after all. There are other ways to make a woman feel special. If you don’t know how to give a compliment or set up a romantic date, I don’t care how much money you have, because I won’t be sticking around.
  8. I don’t want you to think I owe you anything. Some men assume that they’re going to get laid, just because they’ve bought me a drink. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, which is why it’s easier for me to pay. That way, there’s no illusion that I’m going to ask you back to my apartment.
  9. You can’t buy my love, anyway. Believe it or not, paying for my hamburger isn’t going to win me over. Pretty much anyone could pick up the check, so the move isn’t as impressive as you think it is.
  10. I want to take care of you, too. I don’t need a big, strong man to take care of me. I want us to take care of each other. It shouldn’t be a one-way street.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.