I love my boyfriend and being in a relationship with him. What we have is everything I’ve always wanted and I’d never take that for granted. However, there’s just one tiny thing I have to confess: I kinda miss the excitement of random hookups. Here’s why:
I could be whoever I wanted to be. I could be a hot and sexy vixen or a sweet and innocent virginal type — whatever felt best that day. Roleplaying is super hot, but sometimes it’s hard to get my significant other to play along. When you’ve known someone for as long as I’ve known my boyfriend, it’s a little difficult to take him seriously in roleplay. When it was a random guy I barely knew, it was easy to let go and fully immerse myself in the experience.
The sex was always different. Hooking up is like a box of chocolates — you never know what you’re gonna get. It’s fun to discover new ways of having sex. Whether it’s low and slow or fast and athletic; I want to experience it all. That anticipation of wondering what it was going to be like was a total rush and I miss it.
I felt passionately wanted. There’s something about hooking up that makes me feel so wanted. When I’m with my boyfriend, I already know he’s got me and he knows it too. We don’t really need to try anymore. It’s just assumed we’ll be sleeping together tonight. It’s nice, of course, but I really miss the thrill of being chased.
There were no messy emotions to get in the way of pleasure. If my boyfriend and I have a fight or disagreement earlier in the evening, it can really put a damper on our naughty late-night activities. We’ll end up just going through the motions like it’s a chore and then lay there in low to moderate sexual satisfaction. When you’re dealing with a f*ck buddy, however, it’s pure passion from beginning to end without any of those icky sticky emotions getting in the way.
The sex was more satisfying since I wasn’t getting it on the reg. They say people always want what they can’t have. When I’m not getting sex regularly, finding myself in a random hook up made me a little giddy (in my head, of course). I found myself way more appreciative of every little touch, whereas, with my boyfriend, it can get a little routine.
It forced me to stay in the moment. It could be because I didn’t know the person and was low-key scared for my life, or maybe it’s because I was having a new experience, but hooking up always seemed to get me out of my head and focused on the present moment. That’s what everyone’s trying to do nowadays, right?
I got to learn new sex positions. This was probably the best part about random hookups. My boyfriend and I have our favorites — and boy, are they good favourites — but unless I actually take the time to read up on new sex positions, I’ll never be able to discover all the cool ones out there. You’re not really learning the position until you’ve tried it out for yourself. Randomly hooking up expanded my sexual repertoire in ways I never imagined.
I always had interesting stories to tell my friends Nowadays when my friends and I get together, it’s always the same old questions and I always give them the same old answers. They usually just ask how our relationship is going and I respond with, “Good.” Nothing to write home about. When I was hooking up, you better believe I had some crazy story involving live animals and silly string.
I put more effort into my appearance. When I was in my hooking up phase, I spent way more time on my hair and makeup every day. Some people might say is a waste of time, but for me, it was a form of self-love. When I got into a relationship, I let some of that go because I know my boyfriend will love me no matter what I look like. I just wish there was a way to get that motivation back.
I could do whatever I want afterward — there was no pressure to stick around. The best thing about hookups was that I could do ANYTHING I wanted afterward. I could even up and leave immediately if I really wanted to. I could watch TV, call my friend, eat a whole box of cereal. No one was judging me and no one was expecting me to stick around afterward. Freedom.
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