Manipulative people try to keep you on your toes to get better control over you. You never really know where you stand with them, which is really confusing. They also dish you certain phrases that make you doubt yourself and the situation, essentially giving them control and power. Don’t fall for it! Here are 10 phrases manipulative people use to make you second-guess everything.
1. “If You Want…”
It’s weird how your partner always has something to say but then they get weird when you ask them if they wanna go out with your friends on Saturday night. They might say, “If you want, go ahead.” They might even look a bit sulky. Maybe they’re doing this to make you think they’re not interested in what you have to say, or they want you to ask them what’s wrong. They’re all about attention. SMH.
2. “I’m Trying To Help You.”
You get pissed with your partner for saying you should erase your bestie or mom from your life, and who wouldn’t? They try to tell you that those people are toxic for you. Whatever. “I’m just trying to help you,” is what they say, but who said you needed their help? Or, they might use the angle of trying to help you when they irritate you with their annoying mansplaining. “I’m trying to help you change a tyre” or “I’m trying to help you make a delicious paella.” Thanks, but no thanks.
3. “I Wanted Us To Have Fun.”
A day that was supposed to be enjoyable turns into a big fight or drama, again courtesy of the manipulator who loves to create confusion. But then they’ll try to make you feel like you’re the one who always causes the drama. Ugh, what? It’s such a game to them. They might even say, “I wanted us to have fun, not fight” as though they’re the good guy and you’re the bad guy. It’s so messed up. This could also be a way for them to try to play the victim, which is their favorite game.
4. “You Sound Crazy.”
It’s common for a manipulator to tell you that you’re crazy. They throw the word around a lot to throw you off and make you feel bad. So, when you get angry for catching them in a lie, they call you crazy. Ditto for when they claim that you misunderstood the situation, which can make you feel gaslit. It’s so messed up how you’re always the crazy one.
5. “I Was Kidding.”
A manipulator can really hurt you with their words. They like to bring you down when you’re happy so they can zap your confidence and make you feel like you’re not that great. Then, when you get upset by their comments, they’ll say, “I was joking” or “I was kidding around.” How does that make it okay? FFS.
6. “If You Loved Me, You’d Do It.”
You tell your partner you can’t give them money again this month, or you don’t want to stop seeing your friends to make them happy. They try to guilt you by saying that if you truly loved them, you’d do it for them. Nope. This is such a cheap shot to try to control you and it’ll just lead to anger and resentment.
7. “No One Will Love You Like I Do.”
When you’re in the throes of an argument with your partner, do they try to build up why they’re so great and tell you that you’ll never get someone like them? This is a strategy to make you feel like you’re not worthy enough to find someone better, which is BS. It’s also a phrase to make you scared to lose them. What a joke! After dating a manipulative person for some time, you’ll realize the point is not to find someone like them again. Ha!
8. “Others Agree With Me.”
You get offended by your partner’s “joke” or you get upset when they flirt with other women and they tell you that you’re crazy/dramatic/too sensitive. To further make you feel that you’re wrong, they might add that other people agree with them. This is a way for them to make you feel pressure to cave and agree with them. But it doesn’t matter if the entire world agrees with him – how you feel matters.
9. “I’m All You’ve Got.”
Manipulators are messed up, so they’ll try to isolate you from other people because they want you all to themselves. Eek, it’s super controlling. They want you to make them the center of your world, and when you do, they’ll remind you that they’re the only one you have. They specifically like to remind you of this when you threaten to leave them. Do you really have them? No! You can’t depend on them!
10. “You Should Get Help.”
It’s so lame and annoying when a manipulative person tells you that you’re the one who should get help, meanwhile they’ve got so many problems they could do with an entire team of psychologists. This is used to throw the blame onto you for things, because they never taken any responsibility. They also use this to make you doubt yourself. You might wonder if you really are crazy/unreasonable.
