10 Reasons Guys Disappear From Your Life Without A Word, According To A Guy

If you stay in the dating game long enough, it’s only a matter of time until you’re ghosted. Like it or not, this has become a common practice in modern dating. More times than not, guys are the ones ghosting women. While I don’t condone such behavior, I can shed some light on the reasons why guys will suddenly ghost you or disappear from your life without a trace.

  1. He’s seeing someone else. It sounds simple, but it’s one of the most obvious reasons why a guy would ghost you. The problem is that it’s not always easy to tell if he’s seeing someone else or just keeping his options open. If he’s dating multiple women and decides to get serious with one of the other ones he’s seeing, you may not hear from him again. For what it’s worth, it’s not always intentional; it just happens when he goes in another direction.
  2. He doesn’t want a commitment. Sorry, but not all guys are looking for something serious when they start dating someone. Most can also sense when things are starting to head that way. If we think that you’re pushing too hard for a commitment, we might ghost you as a way to get out of it. From a guy’s perspective, it’s the best way to end things without rejecting you face to face. I’ll admit that’s not always true, but it’s the way some guys think.
  3. You’re a backup plan. Men who prefer to keep their options open will often ghost a woman who they want to keep on the back burner. Again, I’m not defending this behavior, but it happens. He may be interested in you but doesn’t want to pursue things right now for whatever reason. He doesn’t want to lead you on, so he ghosts you. However, he might keep your number for a later date.
  4. He’s avoiding an awkward breakup. Come on, how many people have a positive breakup story? At a certain point, you just want to avoid dumping someone at all costs. I mean, it doesn’t feel good to dump someone or explain why you don’t want to see them anymore. Some guys will avoid this if they can, which means their best option is to ghost you.
  5. He’s not good enough for you. This is a little surprising, right? I’m sure all of you ladies have met plenty of men who cocky and have no sense of humility. But plenty of guys have insecurity issues and aren’t always confident that we’re worthy of being with a woman. There are times when a guy will ghost someone because we don’t think we’re good enough. It sounds weird, but rather than risk getting rejected or hurt later on, some guys will try to disappear altogether.
  6. He’s not sure you’re interested. I know that ghosting makes you ladies think that you’re unwanted, but trust me when I say that guys sometimes feel unwanted too. If he isn’t convinced there’s mutual interest in the relationship, he may ghost you thinking that it’s no big deal. It’s his way of backing off, assuming that you’ll make a move to prove that you’re interested. Otherwise, he won’t think twice about disappearing without a trace.
  7. You did something wrong. Okay, not to play the blame game, but guys sometimes have a good reason for ghosting. Keep in mind that some guys can be a little petty or oversensitive, especially early in relationships. It’s possible that a woman says or does something to turn a guy off without realizing it. When this happens, guys will feel justified in ghosting a woman, which is part of what makes ghosting so frustrating.
  8. You lied or cheated. Again, this comes close to justifying the act of ghosting. If a guy learns that you lied to him about something or cheated on him, he may choose to break things off without a formal breakup. In such a situation, he may not want to go through the trouble of confronting you about it. Obviously his feelings would be hurt in this situation, inspiring him to ghost the woman who has wronged him.
  9. You’re not compatible. Sometimes guys decide unilaterally that you aren’t compatible as a couple. If he doesn’t see the relationship moving forward, he might decide that ghosting is his best option. You may not even realize that he feels this way, but it’s possible that you mentioned a political or religious perspective that clashes with his beliefs. It could even be something less important than that. Ghosting you is how he gets out of it without confrontation.
  10. You’re coming on too strong. Guys don’t always like it when women come on too strong or appear needy. It can be rather overwhelming early in a relationship. Some guys feel the best way to deal with this is to ghost a woman, which is sort of the opposite of coming on too strong. I’ll admit that this isn’t the nicest thing to do. But full-on ghosting is sometimes the only way to cut ties when someone comes on too strong.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.