We’ve all had some kind of experience with the dreaded and terrifying double text. Nobody really wants to send one, it’s just that sometimes we feel like we don’t have a choice. If we’re not getting a response from someone and we’re desperate for some kind of answer, we often take drastic measures. Here are a few things to consider before you hit “send” on that second message, though.
- Has it really been that long? Before you start texting away like a madwoman, just stop for a second and consider how much time has passed since you actually texted them. I know a second can feel like an hour sometimes, but remember that they might actually be busy. Did you text them in the middle of the workday? Late at night when it’s totally possible that they could be sleeping? Before you start to panic, just consider timing. If it’s been a reasonable amount of time, try to hold out just a little longer.
- Try distracting yourself. If you’re sitting and staring at your phone, you’re really just torturing yourself. We all know a watched pot never boils. Try keeping yourself busy. Put your phone down and get some housework done. Read a book, watch some TV, or go for a walk. It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as it’s engaging enough to take your mind off of the waiting. It’ll make the time go by faster and help you fight the urge to double text.
- How long have you been talking to them? Another thing to consider is how long you’ve been talking to this person. If you just met and don’t know them very well yet, it can be hard to predict their patterns. Everyone has different texting habits. Some people respond right away and others take longer. If you haven’t known them long enough to figure out their reply style, there’s no reason to panic. If you’ve been talking to them for a while, however, and they seem to have just disappeared, that could be cause for alarm. However, consider that they might just be taking a long time to respond.
- Is it going to change their answer? Where things might get tricky is if you asked them a question that they might be avoiding answering. Did you ask them something serious? Did you just try to take your relationship to a whole new level? Consider what you asked them and the possibility that they’re taking a while to think of a response. If you text them again while they’re still figuring out what they want to say back, is a double text really going to affect their answer? Probably not in the way you’d want it to. Let them respond in their own time even if it means waiting longer than you’d like.
- Was it an open-ended question? Also consider what you texted them exactly. Was it an actual question? Did you send them something specific that warrants a response or was it simply a statement? If it seems that they’re purposely avoiding answering, a double text might not be a great idea. However, if what you said was rhetorical, it’s possible that they’re waiting on you to text and it’d be a good idea to hit them up again!
- You don’t want to come off as desperate. This is everyone’s worst fear with the dreaded double text. You don’t want to come across as too eager or desperate and sometimes double texting makes you look that way. Sure, you shouldn’t worry too much about what someone thinks of you. If they’re really worth it, they won’t judge you for something so silly as texting twice in a row. However, early on in a relationship, you want to play it cool so that you can maintain confidence.
- Does it feel like a ghosting? Before you freak over the fact that they’re taking forever to text you back, really think about if it feels like they’re ghosting you or you’re just feeling really impatient. Ghosting earned its name because of how it tends to catch us off guard, however, if we really examine situations carefully, there are definite signs that someone could be on the verge of ghosting us. Think about the last conversation you had with them. What did you talk about? What was the vibe between you two? Is it possible that something went wrong and they’re trying to break things off? Maybe you’re just feeling insecure about it at this moment? Consider all the possibilities.
- Do you really like them? This might seem like a silly suggestion but trust me, it’s valid. Oftentimes, when we get into a new relationship with someone or even just start talking to someone new, the idea of being in a relationship, sounds so great that we forget that not every person we meet is going to be the right fit for us. Consider what it is that you actually like about this person or if you even like them at all. If they’re not texting you back, it might be a blessing in disguise and allow you to avoid an awkward situation. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
- If they don’t respond, they may not be worth it. If you’ve been having a good time with someone and they all of a sudden fall off the face of the earth and disappear without warning, it can be one of the most painful things to experience but the truth is, if they don’t even have the decency to respond to your messages or give you the time of day, then they’re not worth your time and they’re certainly not worth your double text.
- There are other people who won’t leave you hanging. Don’t worry if you come across someone who decides to leave you on read. There are tons of amazing people out there who would love to get to know you and would always respond to your messages in a timely manner. The truth is, we make time for the things and the people that we want to make time for so, all of the excuses of why someone isn’t responding are just a bunch of lies. If they don’t want to make time for you, so what? Move on and find someone who will because trust me, there is someone out there for you that will be so perfect for you the idea of double texting won’t even cross your mind.
