10 Ways You May Be Taking #IndependentAF Too Far

Being able to take care of yourself and pay your own bills is important and it feels amazing, to boot. Still, while being independent is an amazing thing, it is actually possible to take it a little too far and end up alienating everyone around you. Don’t be surprised if friends, family, and lovers start to distance themselves from you if you do these 10 things.

  1. You flaunt what you’ve got to the point of being a braggart. You bought that nice, new car all on your own and you should be incredibly proud! Post that photo on IG or FB and relish your accomplishment once or twice, but if you do it every day, people are going to unfriend you or stop following you because now you’re gloating. Keep in mind that others are trying to become independent too, and while a post or two may inspire them, a dozen posts will just annoy them. Don’t be that person.
  2. You make it seem like you don’t need or even want anyone else. Some people, no matter how close to you they are, will be jealous or feel threatened by your independent nature. Those people suck, but the ones who genuinely care about you won’t take well to feeling unneeded or unwanted. There’s a fine line between “I don’t need you to pay my phone bill” and “I don’t need you in my life.” Sometimes, letting someone else handle something for you is more about what they need than what you need. Remember that.
  3. You diminish other people’s accomplishments. Everyone’s goals are not the same. Your goal to buy that new car may not have been someone else’s goal; maybe they just want to be debt-free and keep driving that car they were gifted from their parents in high school. You never know what someone else is really trying to achieve, so don’t assume we’re all on the same path. Don’t make other people feel bad because you think that they aren’t as independent or awesome as you are. Maybe they think they’re killin’ it, and that’s all that matters.
  4. You make comparisons to anyone but yourself. You’re the only one you need to be comparing yourself to, not your sister or your cousin or your boyfriend’s ex. Doing so will just make you seem petty AF no matter how awesome your accomplishments are. Don’t diminish your own independence and amazingness by sharing the spotlight with anyone else—even if it’s to make yourself look better. You don’t need the help! You got there all by yourself so enjoy that limelight alone and don’t worry about what anyone else is up to.
  5. You spend too much time alone. So you like to work out alone, go shopping alone and do chores alone. That’s all totally fine, but the people in your life like to spend time with you too! If you consistently tell them you’d rather go do everything alone, they may take it personally and think you just don’t want to spend time with them. So, invite your sister to the gym with you this time, but just tell her you don’t like to chat between reps!
  6. You ditch your people when you’re at a party or out with them. It’s always good to feel comfortable in a room full of strangers and know that if your friends walk away from you, you won’t feel awkward and uncomfortable. However, ditching them completely when you’re out with them isn’t independent, it’s douchy. Sure, chat up that group by the bar when you grab your next drink, but don’t forget who you came with.
  7. You fight over the bill, constantly. Money is a touchy thing no matter what. Offering to pay your half is always the right decision when you’re with friends and family, but making a huge fuss if someone picks up your part of the tab will come off #ungratefulAF and not #independentAF. And don’t even get me started on dating and paying the tab if you’re an independent chick… Dudes get SO butthurt if you never let them pay, so sometimes just let him!
  8. You make your whole life about your job because its what makes you independent. Your job or career is important. It’s what gives you the opportunity to be independent and do your thing your way. You should be serious about your job, for sure, but like everything in life, you shouldn’t take it too seriously. If you never make time for anything else, you’ll run out of time to do those other things. Time is the only thing you can’t get back… you can always make more money.
  9. You always associate marriage with the end of your independenceThis is a huge myth! Being with the right guy is important in maintaining your independence. The right guy loves that you’re like this, and no matter what stage you’re at in your relationship, he isn’t going to try to ruin your amazing independence. Stop making it about marriage and make it about the man. Find the right guy and I bet your opinion will change!
  10. You’re crazy stubborn and controlling all the time. There’s something about us independent women that also makes us super stubborn. Maybe it’s because we feel like we know better because we do it all on our own? I’m not sure, but I know it can become super annoying and unattractive if you never compromise and try to control every little thing. Just because your way has worked for you doesn’t mean its the only right way. Try to keep an open mind and let someone else take the reins every now and again.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314