Have you ever wondered whether or not your boyfriend is totally over his ex? If he’s doing anything to make you question the relationship in the slightest, you may inadvertently be playing the role of the rebound. Here are 11 signs he’s using you to get over his ex:
He’s still bitter about his ex. Not only does he still talk about his ex, but everything he says about her sounds resentful — a huge sign that he’s not over the relationship! You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks about a past girlfriend. If he says something like, “I don’t think she ever really loved me,” he’s still hurt by how the relationship ended and most definitely not over it. He’s talking about his ex because he’s still thinking about his ex — could he be any more obvious?
It’s been a few months and you still haven’t met his family. Not only have you not met his family, they may not even know you exist. If his mom calls when you two are together and he doesn’t mention you even though you’re literally sitting only inches away from him then his family knows nothing about you. If he isn’t telling his parents about you, it’s because he knows deep down that you aren’t going to be around long. Ouch!
The relationship isn’t romantic. Is the relationship more physical than emotional? Go ahead and take that as a sign. You can tell that you’re a rebound just by paying attention to your sex life. If the sex feels detached and consumes a good majority of the relationship, it’s rebound sex. Now, don’t mistake zero inhibitions sex for rebound sex — they can both be wild and intense, but only one of them helps someone forget about their ex (at least for a few minutes… maybe even seconds).
He doesn’t make plans for the future. If a guy is really interested in you, he’ll make plans for the future. He may not be getting down on one knee proposing, but he’ll say small things that will make you know he’s not planning on breaking up with you next week. If he isn’t talking about the future, it’s because he’s not that serious about you. He knows that you’re temporary and he’s treating you as such — wake up and smell the a-hole in the room!
He’s way too eager to take things to the next level. He went from 0 to 100 real fast! The relationship started off casual and then out of nowhere he flipped the script. Now he’s texting you all the time and expecting you to see him every single day. This shouldn’t be a bad thing, but it seems a little fishy — probably because it’s not genuine. It’s too early in the relationship for him to be in love with you when he doesn’t even know you yet. If he’s overly enthusiastic about the relationship, it’s because he’s actively trying to convince himself that he’s happy. Don’t settle for someone who has to force their feelings for you.
You feel like you’re being compared to his last girlfriend. He may not outright compare you to his ex, but you feel like he’s secretly judging. It’s like if you do something his ex wouldn’t do, he automatically thinks less of you. He may even throw out suggestions for how you should live your life. Interestingly enough, those suggestions relate directly back to his ex. If you feel like he’s replacing you with his ex-girlfriend, it’s because he is.
His friends are surprised he’s dating. If you’ve met his friends, which is a big IF, they may be surprised that you two are dating. If they say something like, “Wow, I can’t believe he’s already dating,” or, “It’s good that he found you, his ex really did a number on him” — pause. It’s a sure sign that he’s not actually ready for a relationship. He may think he is, but he isn’t! If his friends are questioning the relationship, it’s because they know something you don’t.
His breakup was rough. Did his ex break up with him? Uh oh! Was he blindsided and left heartbroken? There’s no way he’s over that, and if he says he is, he’s either a liar or a sociopath. No one is completely over their ex right after a breakup, and they shouldn’t be — it takes time to heal. If he says he’s over his ex and it’s only been a couple of weeks) he’s masking his pain and using you to help cover it up.
He basically forgets who you are. He mixes up the details of your relationship with his past relationship. Sometimes he forgets that his girlfriend was the one who liked to hike and you’re the one who likes to binge watch SVU. The kid is too busy thinking about his ex to realize that you aren’t her. What’s next? He’ll scream his ex’s name while you two are having sex? Don’t let it come to that — accept that you’re his rebound sooner than later.
His ex is still around. If they just broke up but they’re still hanging out, you need to chuck up your deuces and go! I don’t care if their breakup was mutual (which it never is) — they shouldn’t be spending time together! And more importantly, you shouldn’t be with someone who can’t stop seeing their ex. Think about it. Why would they want to hang out together right after a breakup? Obviously because they still have feelings for one another! Go ahead and bow out of that relationship — let those two love birds find their way back to each other.
He can’t commit. He can talk about the relationship he had with his ex, but not the one he currently has with you. If he avoids the “R” word, it’s because he’s not ready for real commitment. You can’t blame him, especially if he just got out of a serious relationship. Having said that, he has no reason to be tagging you along for his single man journey. It’s fine that he wants to enjoy his explorative years by keeping his options open, but don’t let him lead you on.
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