11 Subtle Things Guys Do That Mean They’re Not Really Interested In You 

Just because a guy spends time with you doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested in you. Many men love with one foot out the door and because of this, they have a revolving door of women in their lives, most of whom they just sort of feel “meh” about. Stop wasting your time with these types of guys and finally start to pick up on the subtle signs that he’s actually not really that interested in you.

  1. He’s lazy about texting you back. And when I say “lazy,” I mean he’s texting you back not just a few hours later, but a few days or maybe even a full week later. And, when he does, he gives you some BS excuse about not seeing your text until “just now.” Oh really? I don’t know why I feel the need to point this out over and over again but for the millionth time, this is 2018 – we’re all glued to our phones 24/7, meaning he saw that text seconds after you sent it. Unless he was asleep or in a coma.
  2. He’s rarely the one who makes plans. Although he’s willing to hang out when you make plans, he never really takes the initiative to make plans. In fact, you might even know in your heart that if you weren’t the one being proactive about plan-making, you’d probably see him once every three months, if that.
  3. If he does make plans, they’re always last minute. On the obscenely rare occasions that he does make plans, it’s always at the last minute. It’s not that he wants to go out or anything, he just wants to come over or you go to his place to “chill.” So you do the math: last minute plans and just wants to chill. What this means is that he had plans with someone else, they fell through, and he just wants to get laid.
  4. He doesn’t really ask you things. Sure, he knows your name, but does he know anything else about you? Does he know where you’re from? What you do for work? Your dreams, goals, or even how your day was? Probably not because he hasn’t asked, meaning he doesn’t really care all that much. Please ask questions when they’re interested, FYI.
  5. He only half listens. While he’s definitely the talker of the two of you, because he considers himself quite the impressive human being, when you do get a chance to talk, he only half listens. The proof of this being an absolute fact is that he either consistently cuts you off or will, inevitably, halfway through whatever you’re telling him, ask a random question that has zero relation to what you’re saying.
  6. He doesn’t really care what you think of him. In other words, he doesn’t make an effort in his appearance, in what he has to say, or even in how he presents himself to your friends. He doesn’t care about trying to impress you or who’s important to you.
  7. He doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Even if he says he cares, actions speak louder than words. His lack of interest in your life, the way he doesn’t ask you anything about yourself, how he never listens, and constantly makes you feel like an inconvenience just shows that his feelings for you aren’t just lukewarm, but leaning toward cold, ice cold.
  8. He flirts with other women in front of you. Oh sure, he’ll dismiss it that he’s just being friendly and not flirting at all, but little does he know, you’re not an idiot. And the reason he doesn’t know this is because he never listens to you long enough to realize you’re actually smart AF.
  9. He’s not concerned if something is bothering you. If you call or text him to share bad news, he either feigns interest or says he’s busy and he’ll get back to you. WTF. No guy who’s genuinely interested in you would put your concerns on hold; they’d make your concerns a priority.
  10. He’s indifferent to things that have to do with you. You got a raise! He shrugs. You found out your Grammy’s cancer is in remission! He shrugs. You finally taught your puppy how to make dinner! He shrugs. His indifference to everything that has to do with you is palpable, even if you refuse to admit to it.
  11. He doesn’t make you feel special. If someone’s into you, they make you feel special. Meaning, they don’t treat you like everyone else, they pay attention to you, they care, they’re excited for you, they’re proud of you, they support you, and only have eyes for you. If a guy isn’t really interested in you, then none of this comes into play. He treats you like a friend or a coworker, because, in not being all that interested in your, he doesn’t see you as being much different from them.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.