Having relationship expectations can be a good thing, but sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is let everything go and just enjoy the dating experience because we don’t do that enough. Here are 11 things we can learn from women who leave their expectations at home when going on a date.
They know how to have fun.
Women who don’t have expectations for dates come out on top because they know how to chill and enjoy themselves. They see the date as an opportunity to meet someone new, enjoy a good dinner, check out a new club that’s opened in the city, etc. It’s not a life or death situation and they know it.
They don’t stress so much about where things will go.
It’s easy to get worked up about dates, thinking about what will happen, if the guy will like you or not, or if he’ll destroy your idea that he’s the perfect guy. It’s a lot of pressure, and for what? All that worrying won’t change the date outcome, so why stress about it?
They don’t put pressure on themselves to be perfect.
The funny thing about having many date expectations is that they not only make you focus on what you want to gain from your partner but they make you stress about being the perfect partner in return. Instead, women who don’t have dating expectations love themselves and focus on being themselves. They don’t act like they’ve got to jump through hoops on a date because they have major self-worth.
They don’t date an idea.
If you’re focused so much on h0w your partner has to behave, you start to build up an idea in your mind of the perfect person you want in your life. But your list of ideal characteristics isn’t always realistic and it can cause you to rule out potentially awesome dates because you’re stuck on a limited, glamorized idea of love in your head.
They open themselves up to the possibilities.
A date might not be filled with sparks or be an event in which you meet the man you marry, but so what? Women who date without exceptions are open to various possibilities such as increasing their social circle or meeting someone amazing who teaches them a valuable lesson about life. They don’t try to manipulate the date to get what they want.
They can move on easier.
If you don’t invest in the date with your expectations, you have less to lose if the date goes badly. You don’t feel as heartbroken, meaning you can move on nicely to the next thing life has in store. It’s liberating!
They stay calm and make the best decisions for themselves.
When you’re not putting so much dating pressure on yourself, you stay calm and rational. That’s when you can make the best decisions when it comes to dating other people or giving your date another shot at winning your heart. It really helps to see things without too much emotion and expectation sometimes.
They don’t give up their standards.
You might think not having dating expectations means you don’t have standards but those are two different things. Your dating expectations are what you want to happen from the date. Your standards, on the other hand, contain things like your values, needs, deal-breakers, and self-love—and these don’t change when you leave expectations at the door. You still stick to your guns about what you deserve.
They fulfill their own needs instead of expecting someone to do it.
Expectations are often tied to needing something from your partner. You might want the guy to be chivalrous and emotional so that he gives you the love and respect you desperately crave. That’s not a bad thing, but don’t expect people to make you happy—that’s a recipe for disaster. Why not give yourself what it is you’re so used to needing from someone else? When you don’t need anything from anyone, it’s the most amazing feeling. People can enter your life in a more natural way and you won’t hold onto the wrong ones.
They let go of the past and its hold on them.
Sometimes we have dating expectations based on what’s happened to us in the past. For example, if we were hurt by an ex who cheated on us, we might enter new relationships waiting for the guys we date to do the same thing to us all over again. These types of expectations can cloud our date enjoyment, totally sabotaging our pleasure.
They don’t date their type too strictly.
You might expect a guy to be tall with blue eyes and for him to love the same hobbies you do. Maybe you have strict rules for what you want and don’t want in a partner but losing some (or all) of your dating expectations when meeting someone new can be a good thing. It opens you up to dating different types of people to see what’s out there, instead of being stuck to one type of guy. After all, if your strict dating type hasn’t brought you happiness or long-term relationship success so far, it’s probably a good idea to tweak it.
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