In the words of Kylie Jenner, I’ve spent 2017 “like, realizing stuff” about what I’m OK with between the sheets and what I’m not. Now, I’m going into 2018 confident AF about my sexual attitude because now I know a lot about sex that I didn’t know before.
- Guys really don’t care about body hair. I honestly wish I knew this way sooner. Oh, the time I would’ve saved shaving my vulva if someone would’ve told me guys don’t give a damn about the hair down there. Sure, some might have a preference for what they want to see, but a full bush ain’t going to stop a man from doing the deed. Facts.
- However, I definitely care how bushy my bush is. With that said, I still don’t like walking around with a full on bush. I don’t feel the need to be bare as a Barbie doll down there but I like things to be trimmed and fine-tuned, if you catch my drift. I feel way more comfortable and confident that way.
- Pregnancy scares happen to the best of us. I used to think I was the only one who experienced pregnancy scares on the regular. (Seriously, I always thought I was pregnant, even when I used a condom while on birth control.) However, I’ve recently realized how common pregnancy scares are, partially because condoms break and pills get forgotten, but also because every girl gets off on the drama of a pregnancy scare! Don’t lie, you know you do.
- Sex is a big deal. For all you people out there who can sleep with someone and not catch feels, please tell me how you do it. I’ve never been able to do that and honestly, I don’t think it’s possible for me. Luckily, I’ve finally realized that! Which means, the whole “sleeping around” and having a “hoe year” thing isn’t in my foreseeable future… and I think I’m okay with that.
- Sometimes, people really aren’t in the mood. A guy who isn’t in the mood for sex? I automatically thought he was gay or just not interested in me sexually. Turns out, guys sometimes just aren’t in the mood to fool around, just like women. Life can just be too exhausting to want to do it.
- Sex should be kept private. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. Sex should be kept between you, the person you’re doing it with, and maybe your closest best friend. No one else really needs to know about your sex life, even if you’re a really open person. The more people that know, the more opinions you’ll hear and the more second-guessing you’ll do because of all those opinions.
- You should never lead with sex. When I was younger, I definitely led with my sexuality. I thought that’s what would capture a guy’s attention. But now that I’ve experienced more life, I’ve realized that guys are more inclined to chase if you don’t lead with that. There’s a lot more mystery in someone who’s not jumping in bed after the first date.
- Masturbation is the key to happiness. Masturbation isn’t just about getting your jollies. For women especially, it’s about figuring out what turns you on and making sure you know what’s going on down there. Masturbating has helped grow my vagina confidence — I just feel so much closer to my hoo-hah after a good touching session.
- Barely anyone is having as much sex as they act like they are. The media likes to make it seem life is one big orgy but it’s really not. In fact, I can guarantee you a majority of your friends aren’t doing the deed as much as you think they are. Life isn’t “Friends with Benefits.” Not everyone has someone to call at all hours of the day and night for a quickie.
- You can’t be afraid to communicate. First things first, it’s really crucial that you sleep with someone you’re 100% comfortable with because you need to be able to communicate your likes and dislikes. There’s no reason to stay quiet during sex and just sit there while sub-par thrusts are happening. Nope. You’ve got to communicate and ask what you want!
- Sex isn’t always good. Sometimes it doesn’t matter who you’re sleeping with—the sex just might not be good and it doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong. So many elements can go into whether or not the intercourse is good. Hell, a rainy day could be responsible for messing with the connection in between the sheets.
- I’m not weird for not liking oral sex. I don’t like oral sex. Never have, never will. I’m not saying I’ll never do it, though. Maybe when I’m married for 10 years, I’ll celebrate our anniversary by giving my hubby a BJ, but until then, that’s going to be a no for me. And you know what? I’m not weird. I’ve discovered that a lot of people don’t like oral, and now I have no problem leading with my disgust the second I meet a potential suitor.
- Everyone’s sex life is different. Seriously, no one has the same sex life. No one! Everyone’s into different things and that’s exactly why it takes so long to find someone you’re truly sexually compatible with. Comparing yourself to your friends’ sex life is a complete waste of time because no matter what you do, it’s not going to be the same—and honestly, it shouldn’t be.
