13 Signs You Need A Sexorcism

A bad sex life can lead to seriously bad juju. Sometimes, doing something crazy in the bedroom is what you need to do to spice things up and get back on track with your partner. Whether that means trying a new move, a new partner or a combination of the two is up to you, but the important thing is banishing bad (or non-existent) sex from your life. Want to know if it’s time to sexorcize your love life? Here are some good clues…

  1. You’re not having sex and you’re in a relationship. Assuming you’re not okay with this arrangement, you may need to have a talk. Having a partner who’s not into you on a sexual level is soul-crushing and should be a dealbreaker for you regardless of how long you’ve been together. Life is way too short to be stuck with a partner who doesn’t want to sleep with you.
  2. Things have been making you question if you’ve “still got it.” You know how we all have moments where we might need reassurance that we’re not boring, dull people? It’s okay to treat yourself to really wild, mind-blowing sex to remind yourself that you’ve still got the spark.
  3. You’ve been getting angsty and irritable but haven’t been able to figure out why. Believe it or not, both men and women can get irritable when they haven’t been getting the physical loving they need. This is true even if they don’t realize that they’re suffering from a lack of sex. Think about it as your body’s way of saying it needs attention. If you’ve been extra pissy lately, getting laid may be a good way to get rid of the angst.
  4. If you were honest, your sex life has become so routine, it’s now totally predictable. Good sex can be routine, but even the best routines can get stale. If it’s gotten to the point that you know exactly what move your partner’s going to pull next, it’s time to talk about spicing things up and clearing overly routine sex out of your life.
  5. You recently broke up with someone. A lot of people tend to feel better after sleeping with someone who’s not their recent ex. Whether it’s a healthy thing or not depends on the person, though, so if you’re the type who tends to get over people by getting under someone new, go for it. If anything, it’ll remind you that your ex wasn’t the only person who can provide you some sweet lovin’.
  6. It feels like ages since someone other than yourself gave you an orgasm. Remaining unsatisfied or otherwise lonely is not acceptable. If you’re taken, talk to your partner to try to fix things. If you’re single and in need of a  fling, consider Tinder.
  7. Your partner makes you feel like a creep when you want to do something sexual with them. This isn’t a sign you need a sexorcism as much as it’s a sign that you need to banish the abuser in your life and then have a sexy fling with a better match. No one should ever shame you for wanting intimacy with your partner, and if they feel otherwise, you shouldn’t date them.
  8. The spark in your relationship seems to have gone. It might still be possible to get it back if you do something really sexy, especially if the spark faded due to the craziness of day-to-day life. Grab your partner and do something hot, and maybe, you’ll be able to banish bad sex and a passionless relationship from your future.
  9. Your libido died. Libido drops can be due to a number of reasons. One of those reasons is that your mojo is often a “use it or lose it” item. If you’re not in the mood, it could be because your dry spell basically wrecked your ability to get into the routine again. By working out your sexy vibes a bit, you’ll end up being capable of getting in the mood once again.
  10. There’s a sexual fantasy you’ve been really curious about and you feel like your partner would be down with it. Sexorcisms don’t have to happen when things are taking a downturn in the relationship. Sometimes just banishing potential boredom or “what if”s from your life is good enough reason to try something new. In these cases, just sitting your partner down and telling them you want to explore more will work wonders.
  11. You’ve been feeling sexually neglected by your partner when you do have sex. Have a sexually selfish and/or clueless partner? It happens a lot more than you’d think, and most guys don’t want to be that way. A sexorcism in the form of telling them what you need in order to be happy in bed can be just what the doctor ordered. If they still aren’t giving you what you need after the talk, it’s a sign that you need to banish Mr. Bad-In-Bed to complete your sexorcism’s goal.
  12. The sex you’re having is laughably awkward. Do you have to keep yourself from turning on the TV while you’re partner’s trying to make you cross the finish line? Do you find yourself laughing when your partner does something he thinks you’ll find hot? Bless his soul for trying, but you need to step in and give him some guidance. Otherwise, nothing will improve.
  13. Just because. Banishing bad partners or just sex from your life is something that is its own reward. So, why need a sign? Pull a Nike, and just do it.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.