15 Signs The Guy You’re Dating Isn’t Actually Single

Some guys meet you and act like they want to be with you and you alone when in reality, they have girlfriends waiting for them back home. How convenient. The saving grace? You can spot a guy’s shady behavior early on so you can get out of your so-called “relationship” with him before you waste any more of your time. Here are some signs that the guy you think you’re dating isn’t single after all.

  1. He’s not a spontaneous person. Whenever you suggest meeting up on a Friday or Saturday instead of for your usual Thursday dinner, he’s never available. WTF? He might claim he’s not spontaneous, but that’s BS unless he lives far away. If you’re in the same city but he’s never available on certain days or at certain times, the guy’s compartmentalizing his life so that you don’t get full access. This is super shady.
  2. He’s emotional about his breakup. During a conversation about his heartbreaking breakup, the guy looks close to tears or like he could do with a psychologist. He also goes on and on about his ex. If things are that fresh for him, it probably feels like they’re too fresh—as in, so fresh the breakup just happened last week and he and his GF haven’t even officially parted ways.
  3. You see the back of his phone. Whenever you’re together, his phone is never screen up—it’s always face-down on the table or sofa. Hmmm. Is he so afraid that you’ll get a glance at his messages? It’s fine to be private but to go to such lengths is fishy.
  4. He goes with the flow. He claims to be the kind of guy who just wants to “feel things out” or “see what happens.” But it’s been weeks or months of dating and he still hasn’t talked about where he wants your relationship to go. This doesn’t necessarily point to him having a girlfriend, but another relationship he’s got on the side could be a reason for why he’s stalling with you.
  5. He doesn’t answer. It often happens that you try to call him but he never picks up. Put your investigative cap on and check when this tends to happen. Is it over the weekend or at certain times of the day? It could be when he’s with her.
  6. He loves going out of town. He invites you out to dinner but it’s a meal outside of town yet again. In fact, it seems like he’s always taking you away from your favorite hangouts. What gives? He’s actually hoping to take you away from any places where he might bump into his girlfriend or her friends. It’s likely the guy you’re dating isn’t really single.
  7. He won’t make an effort with your friendsIt’s been months of dating and he still doesn’t want to meet up with your bestie who’s in town. Same goes for your other friends and family. Ask to see if you could meet his friends. If there’s a “no entry” sign on all people outside of your relationship, he’s up to no good.
  8. He doesn’t have a relationship status on Facebook. You might check out his Facebook profile and feel glad that he’s not listed as “single,” but if there’s no relationship status listed at all after months of dating him, that should be a red flag. Why is he trying so hard to fly under the radar? He might say he doesn’t like sharing his relationship status on Facebook because he’s private, but the truth is that he can’t share it because he’s got two going at the same time!
  9. The rest of his Facebook profile is private. If he added you as a friend on Facebook but then sections of his profile are not viewable, such as his friend list or chunks of his timeline, it’s shady AF. What is this guy hiding from you?
  10. He likes your place. He wants to hang out at your place all the time, especially after dates instead of bringing you to his home. In fact, you’ve hardly seen much of it. It’s convenient to for him to hang out at yours because his GF might rock up at his place at any second.
  11. But he never stays the night. As much as he loves chilling out and having sex at your place, he never sleeps over. He’s always got some excuse, like having a ridiculously busy day at the office the next day or having to wake up early and not wanting to disturb you. It could really be that his GF will be wondering where he is.
  12. He never uses his name. Have you ever noticed how gifts from him always have a card enclosed in which he signs off with his initial instead of his first name? He doesn’t want to leave any trace, however small, that he’s cheating. If you had to show his girlfriend these gifts or cards, you’d have no proof that he’s behind them.
  13. He never takes you to functions. It’s bad enough that he never takes you to meet his friends, but even worse if he’s getting an award at work or there’s some fancy important dinner and you’re not his date. WTF? Clearly his girlfriend gets shotgun on these types of occasions and everyone at his workplace obviously knows about her.
  14. He refuses to call you his girlfriendWhen you happen to bump into someone he knows (it’s a small world, especially for a cheater!), he doesn’t introduce you as his girlfriend. Heck, he might not even introduce you at all! If you ask him about it later, he’ll give you some corny excuse like not thinking about it or not really liking titles. Ugh!
  15. He never hangs out. He makes regular plans to see you but they’re always structured dates. Even when he’s at your place, he’ll want to do things so he can rush off. He never just chills out and relaxes with you. Yup, cheating is stressful but those jerks deserve the extra wrinkles.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.