Ever had a friend, partner, or coworker who set off your internal alarm bells? That uneasy feeling isn’t paranoia – it’s your intuition spotting red flags. Here’s how to identify untrustworthy people before they burn you.
1. They make intense eye contact.
Although eye contact is healthy, if someone makes intense eye contact, this not only feels uncomfortable but it could be a sign that they’re overcompensating for not being trustworthy. They know eye contact is important, so they’ll try to show you tons of it.
2. They do other things when talking to you.
When you talk to the person about something they’ve done, they can’t seem to sit still. They start filling the kettle to make tea or they start folding their laundry. Fidgeting is a huge sign that they’re lying.
3. They distract you from confronting them.
Someone who doesn’t want to get real with you might try to distract you from things they don’t want you to see about them. So, they might make jokes when you speak about something serious or compliment you to change the subject.
4. They open up to you really fast.
Someone who opens up to you as soon as you start getting to know them is a red flag. Sure, you might feel like you have an amazing connection, but it could be that they’re trying to build a fake one to manipulate you.
5. They move really fast when getting to know you.
Another red flag? They move really fast. For instance, within a week of dating, they want to be official and lock down a relationship with you. Or, if it’s a friend, they’ll want to see you all the time and over-commit to plans. They might call you their bestie right away. It’s too much too soon!
6. They don’t apologize.
If someone can’t apologize for bad things they’ve done, this is a bad sign that you can’t trust them. You want to surround yourself with people who take responsibility for their actions and can be man or woman enough to own their issues.
7. They talk about others to you.
If this person is always putting others down or gossiping about them, they might be trying to make you think that you’ve got a special bond, which is why they’re sharing all these tidbits with you. But, the connection’s not real — they’re really showing you that they’re manipulative and you can’t trust them with your secrets.
8. They question your trustworthiness.
Someone who isn’t trustworthy might try to project their insecurities or bad behavior onto you. So, they’ll question if you’re trustworthy or being a real friend. That’s a huge red flag. Ditto for someone who tells you they’re afraid you’re going to hurt them. Yup, they’ll be the one to hurt you, no doubt.
9. They don’t display guilt.
Watch the person to see how they display guilt. If they’ve hurt someone else, do they seem to laugh it off or shrug as though it’s no big deal? That’s a bad sign that they don’t feel any remorse and it’s made them an unkind person.
10. They make snide comments.
If the person slips a few snide comments into the conversation, don’t let them slide! So, they might say, “Wow, your hair looks like you’ve been caught in a storm” or “Did you steal those shoes from the 1950s?” These types of comments show the person has criticizing tendencies that will just keep bringing you down.
11. They compliment you a lot.
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On the other hand, someone who can’t be trusted might try to praise and compliment you all the time. It’s a bit much, and could make you feel uncomfortable, especially if they’ve just met you. They’re trying hard to get you on their side, and it’s manipulative.
12. They make promises but don’t follow through.
Someone who makes and breaks promises is showing you they’re untrustworthy because you can’t rely on them. So, even though they’re super-apologetic when they don’t follow through on commitments, you should guard your heart.
13. They’d rather talk about you.
It’s great when someone seems to care so much that they want to talk about you all night long, but they should at least want to share something about themselves. If not, they could be giving you the spotlight so they can hide in the shadows.
14. They keep things vague.
If someone is vague about things, using phrases such as “not sure” or “maybe” all the time, this should ring some alarm bells. They don’t want to give you clear answer or they don’t want to commit to anything, which signals that they’re not reliable. They’re keeping themselves emotionally distant.
15. Their claims don’t match their actions.
Someone who lies will show a lack of harmony in what they say and do. For example, they might say they’re kind but then their actions will show they’re cruel. Or, they might talk about their big dreams but veg on the couch all day. Forget what they say and focus on their actions – that shows you who they really are!
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