15 Subtle Signs He’s Lying About His Relationship Status

There are few things quite as heartbreaking (not to mention mortifying) as finding out that your boyfriend actually had you as a side piece. Sadly, a lot of guys aren’t honest about their relationship status, and it often falls on us to figure out whether they’re full of crap. If the guy you’re seeing is doing any of the following, it’s a sign he’s most likely lying about his relationship status and isn’t actually single.

  1. He really makes a point of saying that he’s “not into the whole relationship thing.” This is just a bad sign, regardless of whether he’s telling the truth about his singledom. When a guy says he’s single but just looking for a fling, there’s a pretty decent chance that he’s not as single as he says he is. After all, why wouldn’t he want to date you?
  2. He only invites you to his house, or to a hotel room. If a man seems to be going out of his way to keep the two of you out of the public eye, it’s most likely because he’s worried about being caught by his girlfriend’s/wife’s friends while he’s out with you. The more he flaunts you, the less likely it is that you’re his side piece.
  3. You notice a tan line on his ring finger. A man who’s married might take off his ring when he’s on the prowl for someone to have an affair with. If you notice a tan line on his finger, it’s a sign that he usually is wearing his wedding band there.
  4. He won’t add you on Facebook or keeps deleting your comments. It’s 2016. Facebook official-ness is a thing. If he is hiding you on Facebook, but tags himself as “In A Relationship,” there’s someone else involved. Otherwise, why would he be so ashamed of showing who he’s dating?
  5. It’s been a long time, and he won’t introduce you to his friends. Once again, this is a sign that he’s worried that his friends may speak up, ask questions about his main girlfriend, or that he’s not 100% involved with you. As a general rule, the less commitment-ready behavior he’s showing, the less likely it is that you’re his only girl.
  6. He dresses like a player. Though players come in all different flavors, most of us have a general idea of what players typically dress like. If he’s sporting a backward hat, skinny jeans, and stunner shades, it’s safe to say there’s a high chance that he’s lying to you about one thing or another.
  7. He only pays cash when out on dates. Unless he’s a drug dealer, this is a sign that he’s probably trying to avoid a paper trail. Literally no one carries around cash anymore. Everyone uses their phones or their cards, so if he refuses to do either, there’s something fishy going on and he’s likely lying about his relationship status.
  8. His texting game is really strange. If he’s very attentive, then goes dark for a couple of days, it could be because he’s lying low due to another girl being suspicious of his behavior. Simply put, single guys worth dating won’t pull this kind of crap. Similarly, if you aren’t saved in his phone under your real name, it’s a bad sign.
  9. You can’t sleep over or get him to spend the night. This is often because there’s someone else in the picture, such as a woman he might be living with.
  10. He encourages you to date other guys. Most men, even those who just want a fling, will want to have the illusion (at least) that you’re theirs and theirs alone. If he’s asking you to date other men, it’s very likely because he’s already involved with someone and doesn’t want you to get your hopes up.
  11. People have approached you to warn you about his philandering. When in doubt, listen to what others say about him. They’re most likely looking out for your best interest.
  12. All the dates you have are super casual, and last minute. If he can’t plan a date with you like a mature adult, it’s because he’s literally sneaking off and calling you up at the last minute. Guys who have affairs often will expect the other chick to be “on call,” so don’t allow last-minute dates to become the norm.
  13. He’s always doing “family stuff.” Guys who have kids will almost always try to use their kids as an excuse as to why you two can’t meet up when they are trying to make you a side piece. After all, who wants to feel terrible for telling a guy to pick them over his kids?
  14. He lied about other things. His name, his age, his height… if he’s telling little white lies (or massive red flag lies!), there’s a much higher chance that he’s lying about his status, too.
  15. He uses a lot of euphemisms. You’re “a good friend,” and not “his girlfriend.” He wants to “hang out,” rather than “pound your brains out.” If he regularly uses these kinds of euphemisms to talk about your relationship or activities, he’s not being upfront with you and is just hoping you’ll go along with it. If he says that he’s “separated,” not in a relationship remember that “separated” still means that he’s not single.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.