Your assumptions are wrong. Your pre-convieved notions about my sexuality are boring. Your attempts to exotify me make my eyes roll so hard I can see my brain. Here are 15 things single women of color are tired of hearing from your boring, self-entitled, ignorant and yes, racist, mouth:
- Do you only date people of your own race? No, I only date people who have read bell hooks.
- Do you usually date outside of your race? I usually don’t date ignorant douchebags.
- Where are you from? We both know what that quizzical expression means, but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
- Where are you really from? My bad. All benefits of all doubts revoked.
- Where are your parents from? I’m so glad you asked. Finally, a chance to whip out their birth certificates. And my friends told me carrying these around all day, every day was ridiculous! Now who looks silly?
- Will you have an arranged marriage? Yes, I would prefer that there be a date, time, location, good food and a sweet-ass sax player. Someone’s got to pull all that stuff together.
- What do your parents think of you dating outside of your race? They were super specific about what color penises I’m allowed — right after we had the sex talk — but that’s private.
- How come all your friends are white? I think it has something to do with the melanin in their skin.
- How come all your friends are the same [non white] race? Again. I think it has something to do with the melanin in their skin.
- You’re not like other [insert race here] people. Oh, wow, you’ve met all people of my race? You now know more about my race than I do. Please, educate me.
- I should set you up with my friend, they’re [your race], too! Great, we can talk about how not all our friends are as racist as you.
- Are you only attracted to [non-white] men/women? No, it’s cyclical. I date different races in different seasons. This month is ‘Benevolent Caucasian’ month.
- “You know, you’re the first [specific race] person I’ve been attracted to.” I’m glad you’re broadening your horizons. I’ll also be the first -specific race- person who has ever dumped your ass, too.
- Do your parents even allow you to date? You’d be surprised at how cool they are about it. Sometimes, I even go to bed without brushing my teeth, and it’s, like, no big deal at all.
- Hey, do you know who you remind me of? *names one prominent and zeitgeisty celebrity of the same race* That’s so weird, ’cause you remind me of every human I’ve ever hated.
