15 Things To Stop Telling Yourself If You Want To Be Happy

15 Things To Stop Telling Yourself If You Want To Be Happy

Happiness is an inside job because it starts in your head! No matter what cool things are happening in your life, if you’re riddled with negative self-talk, you’re not going to find real happiness. So, here are 15 things you have to stop telling yourself if you want to feel good right now.

1. “I’m just not good enough.”

Hold up — you got an opportunity to achieve a goal, and you’re saying you’re not good enough to take it? Seriously? That defies logic!  If it wasn’t right for you, it wouldn’t have come to you. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, so reap the rewards of all the effort you’ve been putting in.

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2. “I’m never gonna make it.”

You might worry that despite investing so much time and energy into your dreams, you’ll still never be successful. While it’s natural to focus on the “what if?” scenarios in life, don’t become stuck in your fears because they will hold you back. Focus on the journey, not the destination, and you’ll find happiness right now.

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3. “No one will ever love me.”

Being single and trying to get out there can be tricky, especially if you have dreams of finding The One. The thing is, if you don’t believe you’re worthy of love, then you’re pushing it away with your thoughts. That’s what Psychology Today (and, well, everyone else) refers to as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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4. “They’re better than me.”


If you keep comparing yourself to other people, you’re always going to feel like you’re not good enough. This type of inner talk is messing with your confidence and warping your perspective. There’s always going to be someone better than you. That’s not the point. The point is that no one is you!

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5.  “I’ll be happy when…”

You might think that you’ll find happiness when you meet an amazing person or you get the job of your dreams, but don’t push your happiness somewhere into the future. You can be happy now, and it’ll put you in a more powerful position to attract all those things you want.

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6. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

If you don’t think you deserve to have happiness in your life, you’ll never find it. Your thoughts are powerful. If they’re negative, you’ll be viewing life through a negative lens and finding more things to feel bad about. That’s no way to live.

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7. “Other people will judge me.”

Worrying about what other people think of you will keep you stuck. You won’t be happy because you’ll be prioritizing their thoughts and feelings over yours, which is a no-no.

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8. “Why me?”

Bad things happen to everyone. How you handle them is what defines you and can make you find happiness, as long as you don’t internalize what happened. If you think bad things have happened to single you out or make you feel like a failure, you’re going to stay in a negative victim mindset.

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9. “I don’t have a choice.”

You might think you don’t have many options at your disposal when it comes to changing your life, but look around and be a bit creative. You’ll see that you always have a choice! You might not be able to choose the situation in which you find yourself, but how you react to it is totally up to you.

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10. “I should’ve known better.”

Maybe you tried something and it didn’t work out. Beating yourself up about it by wishing you’d done things differently is just going to make you feel stuck in negativity. You might not have known better, but you know what? You’ve learned from it so you can do better in the future.

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11. “This needs to be perfect.”

Striving for perfection is a highway to unhappiness. You can’t achieve perfection — you can only do your best. You don’t have to burn yourself out and feel riddled with anxiety to get what you want. Remember that you’re never going to be perfect and you will make mistakes, but those are powerful ways to propel you forward in life.

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12. “This has ruined my whole day!”

When something bad happens, like spilling coffee on your crisp white shirt before a date or your car breaking down on the way to work, it’s easy to think it’s a bad omen for the rest of the day. However, don’t get stuck in a negative mindset. Shift your mood and tell yourself that your day is going to get better!

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13. “I’m not special.”

Telling yourself that you’re not special, or not as special as other people who are achieving their dreams, limits yourself. You’re ignoring the unique traits you have that set you apart and make you successful.

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14. “It might not last.”

You might be going through experiences that are making you feel happy, but you’re not embracing them because you’re afraid you’re going to be disappointed. For example, when you meet someone new and they’re awesome, but you’re terrified they’re going to hurt you. By missing out on the moment, you’re trashing a chance to be happy.

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15. “What if…?”

Worrying about what could happen in the future prevents you from living in the present moment. You don’t know for certain what could occur, so stop worrying about it. It’s stealing your happiness. You get to choose how you feel right now, so try putting a smile on your face and see what happens.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.