15 Warning Signs Someone Is Plotting Against You

If it feels like you’re being targeted by your social circle or you just get a weird feeling around the newcomer who’s always putting you down in a subtle way, they might be out to get to you. While you might try to brush off these thoughts, here are 15 signs that someone is plotting against you and has sinister intentions.

1. Someone’s suddenly kind to you for no good reason.

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If there’s someone in your life who never used to be nice to you, but lately they’re all smiles and compliments, it’s a red flag. They could be trying to manipulate you with faux kindness. There’s clearly an ulterior motive there even if you don’t know what it is. It would be good for you to find out ASAP.

2. Your friends are mentioning this person a lot.

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It’s also unnerving if your friends are mentioning this person a lot more, or telling you that they’ve been asking them questions about you. They’re obviously sniffing around trying to find out more about you. It’s unclear what exactly they plan to do with that information, but something tells you it’s nothing good.

3. They gossip around you.

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It’s always a bad sign when someone gossips about other people to you. They could be trying to reel you in to make you feel you can trust them, but then they’ll be turning on you and gossiping about you behind your back. They might even go back and tell the person they were gossiping about that you were the one talking crap about them. Ugh, watch your back.

4. They dish out backhanded compliments.

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While they might seem to be flattering you by pointing out all the things they love about you, they’re not being genuine with their feedback. They seriously love backhanded components, and will often say things like, “I never realized you were so smart!” Why would they have thought any differently? This can get in your head and make you wonder what their game is.

5. They brag about their life to you.

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Someone who’s plotting against you might try to show you how amazing they are. This could be because they want you to feel bad about yourself or like you’re not good enough. The more your own self-confidence erodes, the more they can take advantage of that and prop themselves up.

6. They diminish your accomplishments.

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Another way in which someone who’s out to get you will make you feel bad is by trying to belittle your success. So, they might remark on your promotion by saying, “Oh, do you think you’ll ever start your own business instead?” This can make you feel like your promotion isn’t that great after all. Planting seeds of doubt gives them power over you. Don’t let them have it!

7. They ignore you when others are around.

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Someone who’s plotting against you might try to isolate you from your friends or loved ones. They can do this in subtle ways, like by ignoring you and giving your loved ones lots of praise or attention when you’re sitting right there. You then start feeling paranoid about why you’re being left out, and you might even fade into the background of group activities as a result.

8. They pretend everything’s fine when it’s not.

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If someone who’s in your social circle is out to get you, they might pretend that the two of you are on great terms when you’re not. They’re being passive-aggressive, and it may be so that they can enact their revenge in the future. Keep an eye out for any body language clues that clash with their words, like if their jaw becomes tense when they say they’re looking forward to seeing you.

9. They act innocent.

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If they’re always putting you down or making belittling comments, you might confront them. To deal with this, they’ll act all innocent as though they haven’t done anything wrong. They want you to question your behavior and make you feel like you can’t trust your own perceptions. In other words, they’re gaslighting you.

10. They push your buttons.

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Someone who’s malicious might try to push your buttons so that they can get to you. They’ll do things to irritate you or talk about stuff that they know is sensitive to you so that you lose your cool. This gives them the upper hand so they can unsettle you.

11. They show their dislike of you in little ways.

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On the flip side, someone who doesn’t like you and wants to bring you down might throw a hissy fit every time you ask them a question or they might give you mean looks when they think you’re not looking. They can’t seem to smile around you! They have a serious attitude problem and they’re blaming it on you.

12. They speak badly about your social circle.

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To bring you down, the person might speak negatively about those closest to you. They might say that your brother is fake or your partner seems lazy and weak even though they don’t know any of the people they talk about well enough to make that kind of judgment. It’s done to make you feel bad about them — and yourself by association.

13. Or, they speak badly about you to your social circle.

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On the flip side, the person might try to bring you down by talking crap about you to your nearest and dearest friends. This is done to try and convince the people in your life that you’re not as great as you seem so that they’ll cut you off or distance themselves from you. You might hear from your friends that this person’s always spewing negative comments about you. Hopefully, they’re smart enough not to fall for it!

14. They twist your words.

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No matter what you say, the person tries to twist your words around so that you seem nasty or mean when you’re not trying to be. They might also run with these fake misunderstandings to others, trying to turn everyone against you.

15. They try to make you jealous.

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If the person who’s hurting you is a friend or romantic partner, you might notice that they try to provoke jealousy in you by acting out. For instance, they might be charming with everyone at a party and then give you the silent treatment. What the heck? They want to control you and make you feel like you’re not good enough.

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Sinitta Weston grew up in Edinburgh but moved to Sydney, Australia to for college and never came back. She works as a chemical engineer during the day and at night, she writes articles about love and relationships. She's her friends' go-to for dating advice (though she struggles to take the same advice herself). Her INFJ personality makes her extra sensitive to others' feelings and this allows her to help people through tough times with ease. Hopefully, her articles can do that for you.