You know better but that doesn’t stop you from liking him way too much. Maybe he’ll change; maybe he just needs to meet the right woman (read: you) before he gets his act together. Uh, no — stop fooling yourself, girl. You can only make so many excuses before you gotta admit that this guy seriously sucks. There’s no way around it. Here are a few red flags that tell you what your friends knew a loooooong time ago:
- He’s not complex, he’s moody as hell. You thought the brooding attitude and the unkempt wardrobe made him complicated and sexy, but they just mean he’s a huge pain in the ass. You never know how he’s going to act or what his mood will be and it’s exhausting and downright awful. He’s just using this posturing to hide the fact that he’s stunted.
- He’s not tortured, he’s an emotional midget. Oh, he just can’t deal with his life? He has “a lot going on right now”? BS. He doesn’t have the mental maturity to handle the problems that adulthood throws his way. It’s not your problem, and you deserve better. Go find a real adult.
- His lack of ambition is here to stay. This fool is not still “finding himself” — he’s fast approaching middle age and he’s wasting most of his time sleeping in late and lying around his studio apartment. He’s going nowhere and fast. Get a clue and GTFO before it’s too late.
- He isn’t going to magically quit freeloading. Oh, he’s definitely talented… at figuring out ways to use you and your money. How convenient for him that you work so hard and he gets to reap all the benefits. Don’t trick yourself into thinking that his supposed love and support is worth it. It’s not. Open up your eyes!
- He’s so cheap it’s embarrassing. Because he’s a loser, he doesn’t try at anything and because he doesn’t try at anything, he’s broke. The two of you can’t go out and do cool stuff because he can’t afford it. He asks about the price of everything and he makes a big deal about spending money in general. You’re either going to have to pay for two or sit at home on the couch again. LAME!
- He doesn’t think he needs to change — the bare minimum is just fine for him. It’s not like he has some amazing project in the works. He’s not going to school for anything and he’s working a lame dead end job to pay the bills… and just barely. Wake up. He’s not going to suddenly change for you or turn over a new leaf. He’s already been an adult for a number of years. He’s staying a loser.
- He likes drugs/drinking/partying more than having a place to live. What’s that you say? He can’t pay his rent because all his money went to his weed habit? What a shocker! His priorities are obviously right where they need to be. Addiction is a disease, yes, but if he isn’t going to seek help and get his act together, it’s really not your problem. He has to want to help himself. You can’t do it for him.
- He “deals” with problems by ignoring them. It’s a big warning sign when he won’t communicate with you or work things out like an adult. Not only is he a loser on the surface, he’s immature and difficult on the inside. Maybe someday he’ll figure all his stuff out and stop being a loser, but don’t wait around to find out. You’ll end up stuck with someone who never changes, and you’ll be miserably unhappy. Get out while you still can!
- He’d rather “go with the flow” than commit. You’ve been dating for a while now but he still doesn’t really want to say you’re official or monogamous because he’d rather “go with the flow” and let things play out naturally. In other words, he’s either too immature to make a real commitment or he’s keeping his options open. Either way, loser alert.