Most of my close friends are either married or in very serious relationships. Since ending a long-term relationship a few years ago, I’ve now grown comfortable in my role as the token “single friend.” But just because I’m not in a serious relationship doesn’t mean I don’t still get mine. Having safe, casual sex in 2015 shouldn’t be shocking, but you’d be surprised just how little people who don’t get their rocks off with someone other than a long-term partner don’t actually understand.
It’s not a “walk of shame” but rather a “stride of pride.”
You’ve had enough casual sex to know that there ain’t no shame in your game. You own it.
Sometimes you decide to stay over, only to regret it moments later.
Sure, staying over at his place seemed like a good idea after multiple orgasms. However, now that the afterglow is fading and his elbow is poking into your stomach like a jagged tree branch, it’s starting to seem like the worst idea ever.
It feels amazing to sleep in your own bed after a long night in someone else’s.
It doesn’t matter how good the sex was. Nothing beats the feeling of when you come home, finally have a shower and climb under your fluffy duvet. Oh yes.
You have to buy condoms in multiple sizes.
Your life is unpredictable and you’re never sure when you’ll have sex next or with whom. Like penises, condoms aren’t “one size fits all.” Along with your stash of regular condoms, you always make sure to keep a box of Magnums standing by just in case.
You usually don’t even know your hookup’s last name.
Wait, his first name was Brad, right?
You have a booty call bag on stand-by.
Any woman who’s single and getting laid probably has a stash of supplies that they grab before a night out. This includes condoms, lube, a toothbrush, a hair elastic, some face wipes and a sample of that moisturizer that makes your skin glow.
It pays to be hyper-diligent about getting tested for STDs.
Safety is the name of this game. Along with keeping condoms on hand at all times, you’re a regular at the local sexual health clinic – so much so that you’re now on a first name basis with Doris the desk clerk and regularly swap paleo recipes. Hey, better safe than sorry, right?
Your Uber driver gives you that knowing glance when they drop you off at a visiting friend’s hotel late at night.
Yes, you’re “visiting” a “friend” at their hotel at one in the morning. What of it?
Your coupled friends give you the pleading, sad eyes when they ask, “But don’t you want more?
You’re so smart/attractive/talented/a catch. You’ll then feel like no one believes you when you tell them, “Actually, I’m really happy having regular, no-strings attached, scorching hot sex, thanks!”
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