Men Disappoint Me So Often That I’m Not Even Surprised Anymore

I used to consider myself a hopeless romantic. I dreamed of finding my own personal Prince Charming and falling deeply in love. While I’ve never been naive enough to believe that love is a fairytale, I at least expected to find some decent guys out there. Instead, men disappoint me pretty much on a daily basis to the point that I’m not even surprised anymore when they end up being a–holes. I know “not all men,” yada yada, but this is certainly the case with most of the ones I’ve come across in the dating scene.

1. They all think with their d-cks. This is one of the biggest ways in which men disappoint me on a daily basis. I’ll be talking to a guy I have tons in common with and feeling uncharacteristically optimistic about forming a real connection with him. He almost convinces me that we’re on the same page about wanting to build something special… and then they show their true colors. It’s suddenly blatantly clear that he’s only interested in getting laid and if that’s not immediately on the cards, he’s no longer interested. Great.
2. They don’t want to make an effort. When you first start dating someone, it’s important to invest time and energy into getting to know them and make an effort to make them feel special/build a strong foundation. So many men disappoint me time and time again by being entirely unwilling to do pretty much anything at all. They expect the bare minimum to be enough to keep women around and get all up in arms when you express a desire for them to show a bit more interest in the relationship. Sorry, bro, but it’ll take a bit more than a “lol u up?” text at 3 a.m. to win my heart.
3. They see boundaries as challenges. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve communicated my expectations and boundaries to, only for them to completely disregard them or see them as challenges they should do their damndest to try and push as far as possible. The lack of respect from men doesn’t just disappoint me, it outright infuriates me. Who purposely pushes someone else’s buttons or violates their wishes just for fun? What’s wrong with these guys?
4. They have dating FOMO and don’t want to commit. I’ve been in a couple of long-term relationships with decent guys that obviously didn’t work out, which is a shame because most men I’ve encountered in the dating world otherwise act like they’re utterly terrified of the idea of no longer being able to play the field. Not only do they not want to actually put in the effort to be good, committed partners, but they also don’t want to stop talking to other women and act like not sticking their penises in any woman who’s willing is the biggest sacrifice a human being could be asked to make.
5. They say one thing and do another. When I say “men disappoint me,” this is one of the biggest reasons why. I’ve literally had guys tell me they wanted to be exclusive because they saw a future with me, only for me to see them active on a dating app the following day. I once dated a guy who asked to take me out on a “special date” on a Saturday night, only for Saturday to come and me to sit in my apartment alone all night. He ignored all my texts until the next day when he told me that his phone died and that he just played PlayStation all night.

More reasons men disappoint me

1. They can’t figure out how they feel. One minute they’re crazy about you, the next things are “moving a little too fast” and they just want to “go with the flow a bit.” I’ve literally been with a guy for nine months and had him turn around and say things were getting a little too serious because I left my hairbrush at his house accidentally. Then, when I pulled back and started prioritizing anything but him in my life, he claimed he couldn’t live without me and really loved being with me. Is it any wonder I’m complaining that men disappoint me?
2. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions. It doesn’t matter what they’ve done, it’s your fault. Most mature adults can accept when they’ve done something wrong, apologize for it, and correct it. Not the guys I’ve come across. Somehow, whatever they did wrong was down to me. I was being crazy, I overreacted, I annoyed him, the list goes on and on. Every issue is anyone else’s responsibility but theirs. It’s absolutely maddening and one of the biggest reasons men disappoint me.
3. They’re selfish in bed. How many times have you been excited to sleep with a guy, only for him to just pound away at you for two or three minutes (if you’re lucky!) and then roll off and either go to sleep or hop in the shower? You might get a perfunctory “did you like that, baby?” and if you’re anything like me, you’re too stunned at how bad it was to say anything but “uh, sure.” I can count on one hand the number of men who cared enough about their performance not to want to disappoint me or leave me hanging. It’s a sad state of affairs.
4. They expect me to be their surrogate mother. Maybe I’ve dated one too many mama’s boys, but this is a serious problem. I’ve literally had men get mad at me for not doing their laundry, for expecting them to cook their own meals, and for being unwilling to basically organize their entire lives for them. They seem to think that now that they’re technically adults and not living with their moms anymore, I’m here to take over that role. They’re sadly mistaken, of course.
5. They treat women as dispensable. This is the biggest way men disappoint me. We all want companionship and a loving relationship with a partner we can trust and rely on, so why do so many guys act as if women don’t matter one way or another? They don’t even care if we get fed up with their crap and move on because there’s another woman just behind us who might be willing to put up with it. It seriously sucks.