Are Men Ruining Romance?

Being a hopeless romantic is tough in the modern dating world. Reality falls very short of our expectations, and women don’t always get the five-star treatment from men anymore. After all, life is not a Nicholas Sparks movie. Although it may be unfair to put the full blame on other people, there’s truth behind the theory that men just aren’t measuring up to acts of chivalry like men in the past. Here’s the truth behind how men are ruining romance:

  1. Courting has completely gone out the window. The rules of dating have completely changed. It’s hard to tell if there even are any rules anymore. There are no step-by-step moves and it’s kind become a game of “every man for himself”. There are no more patterns or proper ways to tell how interested they are.
  2. Dating is backwards. Hooking up first and then seeing what happens next is never a recipe for a strong relationship. Instead of dating and then taking it to the next step of hooking up, we try to do things the other way around, which quite often crashes and burns. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to turn a hookup into a boyfriend, but you definitely slim your chances.
  3. They don’t take you out for dinner… they take you out for drinks. No one does dinner anymore.  Having a glass of wine with dinner is one thing, but men jump straight to the alcohol instead of sitting through a meal to actually get to know you.
  4. They don’t call you anymore. What ever happened to picking up the phone and actually calling someone? These days, guys either don’t want to have a phone conversation at all anymore or they’re just too lazy to call you. It’s all about texting, commenting, messaging, tweeting, and so on. There are too many portals of communication and phone conversations have gone way down on the list.
  5. They won’t make concrete plans with you. Instead of making plans in advance, they’re all about spontaneous, last minute plans. They ask if you’re busy that same night and if you are, they’ll move on rather than waiting until you’re free. The window closes faster than you can say, “I’ll let you know.” A girl can’t catch a break these days.
  6. There are no more grand gestures. Don’t we just miss the days when guys did something completely bold and outrageous to get your attention? We can now only fantasize that he’ll come back after days of not hearing from him and he’s standing outside of your window with a boombox blasting Peter Gabriel. Nope, not going to happen.
  7. They’ll only meet you halfway. Remember when the guy would show up right at your doorstep, pick you up for the date, and then escort you all the way home? Well, it’s extremely rare for that to happen now. We’re now expected to meet you at the restaurant, split the check, and do half of the work. Come on, guys, make the effort.
  8. They won’t wait for you. Men have become impatient. They’re impulsive and they don’t want to chase you anymore. Making them wait has actually become a turnoff. If you say that you’re busy the upcoming weekend and want to postpone for the following weekend, they’ll just write you off and move on to the next girl.
  9. They don’t want to label it. It’s all about going with the flow and seeing what happens. You don’t want to scare them off by asking that dreadful question of, “What are we?” (which is basically a death sentence) Instead, we wait until we can’t handle it anymore just to find out that you two were just “casually dating”. Has the “girlfriend-boyfriend” term become extinct?
  10. They give up too easily. The worst is when you’ve been dating a guy that you really like for a few months or longer and then all of a sudden, it just ends. They get cold feet or it gets too serious and they call it quits. Maybe they weren’t ready or maybe they got scared, but they reached a point where they didn’t want take it any further because it just got “too hard”.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns