You only get one chance to make a good first impression. When you walk into a room, you might dazzle a date or a job interviewer with the charm that flows out of your mouth, but if you’re not paying attention to your body language you could be giving the person a completely different impression. You might even be making a bad on. Yikes. To find out if you’re guilty, read these 11 body language cues people who make a bad first impression display.
1. They Look At Everything But You.
When chatting to someone you’ve just met, do you feel like you have to use a fishing line to try to catch their gaze and direct it to you? They’re so busy looking at other people or the Art Deco wall or their phone that they seem shifty or disinterested. A lack of eye contact can also point to the person having low self-esteem.
2. They Cross Their Arms.
Imagine if a date or co-worker sits down and crosses their arms. Woah, immediately you’re getting a defensive stance that seems to shut you off. Being on the receiving end of this body language can also make you feel like the person’s trying to exert dominance over you, like if they rest their crossed arms on the table in front of you. It’s a big no-no!
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4. They Slouch In Their Chair.
When someone’s posture is really bad, like if they’re slouching in their chair, you might worry that what you’re saying is boring or exhausting them. It doesn’t make you feel good. Slouching also points to someone who’s not interested in being present, which is quite offensive. You might feel like you’re not even going to try to talk about something interesting because this person’s already checked out. FYI, in dating, slouching makes you less attractive.
5. They Keep Touching Their Earlobe.
Maybe the person’s always fidgeting, like touching their hair or earlobe or wringing their hands in their lap. All of these are signs of nervousness. While nerves can be understandable, like if they’re on a first date, it can make the vibe uncomfortable. It also might lead the other person to wonder if they’re happy to be there or they’re restless and want to GTFO.
6. They Don’t Smile.
It’s awkward if you’re chatting to someone and they keep looking at you without a smile ever appearing on their face. When someone smiles, it activates the brain’s left prefrontal cortex where all positive emotions like to hang out. This is why smiling gives people the impression that they’re warm and friendly.
7. Their Smile Doesn’t Reach Their Eyes.
Another weird smile-related behavior is if the person smiles but it doesn’t reach their eyes. So, their smile is revealing their teeth but their eyes are cold. Yikes. This makes a bad impression because it sends the message that something’s not in sync with the person, like they’re pretending to appear friendly or happy.
8. They talk Super Fast.
Talking fast can be jarring. It’s hard to connect to someone who’s rambling on at a million miles an hour. This can be a sign of anxiety, but it can also seem a bit shifty. It’s like the person doesn’t want to slow down so you can interact with their words. In some cases, the person on the receiving end of high-speed speech might think the person’s on hard drugs.
9. They Roll Their Eyes.
Rolling your eyes when someone’s speaking always gives a bad impression. You come across as sarcastic or like you’re so exhausted with the conversation that you can’t even. Although you might roll your eyes in a joking way when someone makes a funny comment, it’s still something to avoid because it’s rude and childish.
10. They Put An Object Between You.
When someone places an object, such as their cell phone, on the table between you, this is a bad move. It’s like blocking the space between you, which puts you further apart from each other. It can feel like the person’s trying to keep you at arm’s length instead of making a real connection. BTW, phones on the table are always a no-no!
11. They Stand Too Close To You.
Someone who stands way too close to you can feel like they’re violating your personal space. It sends the message that they ignore people’s boundaries or insist on getting their way. Red flag! Ideally, whenever you’re near someone, try to maintain a distance of between one and four feet, depending on the relationship you have with someone.
12. They frown all the time.
If you’re chatting away and notice the person keeps frowning at you, this can throw you off and make you think that they’re not open or interested. The tricky thing about frowning is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that the person has anger issues because they might be thinking hard about what you’re saying. But, it unfortunately always comes across as a negative or hostile body language cue, so it’s best avoided.
