Here’s Why Your Relationships Never Go Further Than Texting

You’ve been texting a great guy for weeks now, but nothing seems to be happening. You’re flirty over the phone, so why haven’t you gone out on an actual date yet? Well, here’s why your relationships never go further than texting:

  1. It can ruin the illusion in your head. Sure, the guy you’ve been talking to has been a perfect gentleman over the phone, but you never know how he’ll act in person. He might be a complete loser or a wanted criminal. To protect your heart and the perfect image you have of him, you’ll never schedule an actual date with him.
  2. You’re scared of something real. Actually going out on a date with the guy you’ve been texting will change your entire relationship. It’s easy to distance yourself when texting, because you’re not looking the person dead in the eyes or hearing their voice. But going out with him will make it all feel “real,” and that can be pretty scary.
  3. A real relationship is too much effort. It’s not that you’re lazy. But there’s a huge difference between taking the time out to text someone each day, and actually making plans to hang out, driving down to see them, and meeting face-to-face. A real relationship requires a hell of a lot of effort, and not all of us are ready for that.
  4. He doesn’t want an actual relationship. Even if you’re ready for a serious relationship, the guy you’ve been talking to might not feel the same way. He might’ve been leading you on, because you were fun to talk to. He might even have a girlfriend already.
  5. You’re not ready to leave single life behind. If you agree to meet up with him in person, you’ll have to pick out an outfit, do your hair, and make witty conversation. You’ll even have to shave your legs in case you have sex. If you’ve been “forever alone” all your life, that’s a nerve-racking thought.
  6. It keeps your options open. If you actually start dating one of the men you’ve been texting, then you’ll have to stop flirting with all of the other men you’ve been texting. It’ll limit your options.
  7. It’s a confidence boost. You might not like your texting buddy enough to call him your boyfriend. You’re not trying to lead him on. It’s just nice to have someone to send you sweet texts every morning.
  8. Planning a date is hard work. It’s difficult to rearrange your schedules to find a time you’re both available to meet. Then there’s the issue of picking a spot. If you don’t have your heart 100% set on dating him, then you’ll keep making excuses not to.
  9. You’re waiting for him to make the first move. A man should put in effort if he likes you, but that doesn’t mean he has to be the one to ask you out. If you like him, go for it. What do you have to lose?
  10. There’s no spark. Let’s be honest: If you were crazy about him, you would’ve met up already. If you’ve been talking for weeks, or even months, and still haven’t planned to hang out in person, then he’s clearly not what you’re looking for. When you find the right guy, you won’t hesitate to set up a date.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.