Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Like A Guy Who Takes The Lead

Nothing is hotter to me than a guy who takes the lead. Now, I’m not talking about those guys who control every aspect of the relationship in an obsessive way — I’m talking about those guys who will step in when needed and take care of the situation without even blinking an eye when it’s called for. You can’t tell me that’s not super sexy. Here’s why I can’t get enough of guys who take charge:

  1. It gives me the warm fuzzies. I can’t explain it, but whenever a guy does things like figuring out directions, picking the restaurant we’re going to without hesitation, or planning out our day for us, I just get a warm feeling in my chest, like everything is right in the world.
  2. It shows me he’s confident in himself. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities members of either sex can have. When a guy takes the lead, it tells me that he thinks he’s hot stuff, which is a really hot trait to me. He’s sure of himself so I’m sure of him too.
  3. It means he’s got his act together. When a guy has no problem taking the lead in relationships, I can safely assume that he’s got every other area of his life more or less covered. Dude’s got balls and I would expect that he takes the same “go-getter” type of approach in his career the same way he does in his relationships.
  4. It’s nice to be taken care of. As a woman, safety is a constant concern for me and the idea that the guy I’m with has my back at all times is kinda nice. I like knowing that if we’re lost in the middle of the desert, he’ll at least try to get us home. He’s got things under control and that’s really reassuring.
  5. I’m incredibly indecisive, so it helps. Seriously, don’t even ask what kind of dressing I want on my grain bowl cause I’m not going to be able to decide in an appropriate time frame. I want the best of everything and if it was up to me to plan our day, we would just end up sitting at home because I can’t decide on anything. This is one of the main reasons I can’t be the one who leads in the relationship — I’ll just lead us to nowhere.
  6. Guys seem to like it when I let them lead. I can tell that guys secretly appreciate it when I let them make the decisions. It’s a huge stereotype in our culture that a “real man” leads, but I mean, I guess it’s there for a reason. I really like it when a guy has that forward-moving kinda energy and most dudes I date seem more at ease when they’re calling the shots as well. It seems that anything that makes them feel macho is usually met with enthusiasm by them.
  7. There’s something so incredibly hot about a guy who knows where he’s going. Google Maps is so not sexy. When I see a guy using a GPS, I’m like, “What are you doing?” I like a guy who’s got his route planned out in every sense of the word and can get us places with minimal hassle and no getting lost.
  8. I like to take the lead in my career and personal life, but not in relationships. It’s not that I don’t like taking the lead in other areas in my life. I actually take a lot of pride in paving my own way and making decisions that will benefit my growth both personally and professionally. However, when it comes to my relationships, I actually get way more enjoyment from just taking the ride than having yet another thing in my life that I need to figure out.
  9. I think it’s definitely possible to take the lead in a relationship without being chauvinistic. You might be thinking that the kind of guys who lead are these macho, douchey jerks, but I’m not talking about a guy who’s controlling — I’m talking about a guy who’s capable of solving problems and taking charge when the situation requires it. Think about how satisfying it is when a guy finally racks up the nerve to kiss you for the first time. You’re like, “Yay, good for you!”
  10. It shows that he cares about me. The fact that he’s taking initiative shows me that he’s really thinking about my well-being and needs. Instead of just leaving it up to chance on what place we’re going to eat, he takes the time to actually make sure we go to a good one that I’ll actually like. Isn’t that nice?
  11. It makes me feel more secure in the relationship. I don’t really have any concerns when I’m with a guy who takes charge. I never have to worry about getting lost, getting bored, or making a decision cause he’s always there to take care of business.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.