A dad whose 19-year-old daughter is planning to tie the knot with her boyfriend, and while he’s happy his (extremely young!) daughter has seemingly met her forever person, he doesn’t plan to bankroll the wedding for one very important reason. Taking to Reddit’s AITA sub, the 48-year-old father said his daughter’s unwillingness to let him walk her down the aisle was a deal breaker, and she won’t be getting a penny out of him because of it.
He described his daughter as an “independent thinker” and boasted that “I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I’ve always appreciated.” However, that independence has its limits, as it caused them to “hit a bit of a snag” in their relationship leading up to the big day.
“She got engaged and decided that she doesn’t want me to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. She argues that her mother and I don’t ‘own’ her, therefore we have no right to ‘give her away,’” the upset dad explained.
“I feel hurt by this because we never treated her like an object or piece of property — rather, we’ve tried our best to provide her with a wonderful life,” he added.
The man then went on to say that he believes his daughter’s preference is “extreme” and that he’s pissed off that she refuses to change her mind on the issue. And while he claims he “respects her choices,” he feels he’s been ignored in the proceedings. As a result, he won’t be ponying up any cash for the wedding.
The dad refuses to pay for his “selfish” daughter’s wedding
“I don’t want to come across as controlling or manipulative. It’s true, I don’t ‘own’ her. I also don’t owe her a fully funded wedding,” he concluded. “She can pay for her own wedding if she’s insistent on this stance.”
While the dad insists he’s not trying to make the wedding about himself, “it’s about her attitude.” In fact, not allowing him to walk her down the aisle is something the father sees as “a spit in the face” and “a rejection of everything we’ve done for her, sacrificed for her, given her. It’s selfish.”
He doubled down on his perspective, writing: “Independent thinking does not mean rude or selfish thinking. Being an independent thinker does not give someone the license to disregard or disrespect the thoughts, feelings or perspectives of others.”
While many people agreed with the father’s stance that independence means financial independence too, others pointed out that he was actually being controlling by refusing to support his daughter simply because she wouldn’t do what he wanted.
“She’s not rejecting you, she’s rejecting a patriarchal tradition,” one commenter pointed out. Another critic wrote, “You care more about meaningless traditions than your daughter’s happiness.”
What do you think?