Dating A Guy Who’s Better Looking Than You Is Hard — I Know Because I Did It

No woman ever plans on dating a guy who’s better looking than her. Sure, we’re all attracted to hotties and have specific qualities and traits that really turn us on. However, those of us who have a healthy sense of self-esteem don’t really think about appearances to that level. I took for granted that my most recent boyfriend and I were on the same level in terms of what we were bringing to the table. However, I soon came to find out that he was apparently way sexier than me and it was totally demoralizing.

  1. People really weren’t shy about sharing their opinions. You would think people would be tactful enough to keep their sh*tty opinions to themselves, but nope. I can’t tell you how many times I overheard people making rude comments about how my ex could do better and how I was obviously punching above my weight. They’d look at us together and sneer at me as if they were thinking, “How dare you, an average-looking woman, date someone who’s so attractive?”
  2. Pretty much everyone figured he would cheat on me. My friends actually said this to me often, as did my colleagues and even my mom. The idea was that because I was dating a guy who was hotter than me and he could have any woman he wanted, that’s exactly what he would do. As a result, I was warned not to trust him because he would never be faithful. Why would he? I’m such a hideous beast, apparently!
  3. He was always getting hit on by other women. This is one of the worst parts of dating a guy who’s better looking than you. Whenever we went out to bars and clubs, women were basically throwing themselves at him. Even when I was right there beside him and he was holding my hand or had his arm around my waist, they’d hit on him. It was unnerving and infuriating, to be honest.
  4. I became a jealous person even though I’m really not one. My ex was getting so much attention from other women. Meanwhile, I was reminded basically on a daily basis that I wasn’t good enough for him. I didn’t totally believe it, but I did start to get jealous. Thankfully, my ex never flirted back with these women or entertained their advances. However, since my confidence had taken a knock, I took it to heart and started getting really jealous. I’m not proud of that.
  5. It made me super self-conscious and kinda paranoid. Not only did I feel jealous of the attention my ex was getting, but I also started feeling really self-conscious. I worried that if I got wrinkles or gained weight or in any way changed my appearance for the worse, he’d dump me. After all, he was already dating down. I started to doubt myself and be super critical of my own appearance, which I never did previously.
  6. It started to go to his head after a while. I imagine this happens whenever you’re dating a guy who’s better looking than you. He can only be told how hot he is and how not his girlfriend is before he starts to believe it. He was never outright cruel to me and never insulted me. However, it eventually became clear that he believed what other people were saying: He could do better.
  7. It eventually came between us, but not for the reasons you might expect. I broke up with him, believe it or not. And it wasn’t because I thought he was too good for me. It’s because I knew he wasn’t and I refused to feel that way. I was looking for an equal partner, and while I really don’t get caught up on physical appearance, I hated the fact that it took center stage. So, I did us both a favor and said goodbye. (And yes, his next girlfriend was a model.)
Bolde Voices represents writers from around the world who want to share their stories anonymously. While everything you read is based on personal experience, it's the ability to tell their truths without being identified that allows those behind the pieces you read to be so brutally honest.