More women are taking control of their relationship story by actively pursuing their love interests instead of waiting for the man to get the hint and do the asking these days. Despite this, some people still believe that women shouldn’t be so forward when it comes to dating. I decided to ask a few guys how they really felt about women making the first move, and here’s what they had to say.
“It’s refreshing when a girl asks you out.”
Jorge, 25, pointed out that it’s always a great change of pace to see women making the first move. “It’s not a difficult thing to do if you build up the courage and a healthy sense of self. I don’t see it as a big deal and I definitely welcome it. As long as she does it in a natural, non-creepy way and recognizes I have a choice in the matter, I’ll be happy with the situation,” he said.
“Who doesn’t love a woman that takes control?”
For Tobi, my 26-year-old friend, you’ll hardly find a guy who isn’t a big fan of women initiating. “Whether it’s a first kiss, sex, or asking me out on a date, I like women who take charge. More points to her if she puts real thought into it. Just give me a place and a time and ask me to show up, and I’ll be there with the biggest smile on my face.”
“I get wary and guarded in the beginning.”
My downstairs neighbor Zachary, 30, says that he’d be a little surprised and distrustful of a woman who makes a move on him, especially if she’s not someone he knows. As soon as the initial shock wears off and he stops wondering what her real motive is, he can settle down and enjoy the attention or interaction.
“The cheekier the move, the more interested I’d be.”
“I want to wonder where she gets the audacity from. Not that I like or tolerate women who are rude, I just feel a strong wave of affection for women who clearly and boldly let you know they want you,” says Bruce, a friend from Twitter.
“It saves me the stress of having to do it.”
One of my exes had this to say: “There’s usually a lot of pressure on men to be the one to make the first move. Even when we’re shy, confused, dealing with social anxiety, not in the mood, or can’t pick up a hint to save or lives. It’s nice to have the stress of all that taken off my hands. If a woman walked up to me and started a conversation or asked me out, I’d be so pleased.”
“I don’t think I can be comfortable with that.”
As for 32-year-old Troy, things have happened a certain way for a reason and he’s not ready to start swishing things up now. “I might go out with a woman who makes the first move, but I wouldn’t be able to build a serious relationship with her. I guess I’m old-fashioned like that.”
“Conservative traditions are not my cup of tea.”
Henrik, 26, is a physical therapist and he’s all for women initiating. Equality of the sexes might not happen overnight, but he doesn’t think abiding by traditional rules of what men and women can or shouldn’t do will help it go any faster. Man or woman, if you want someone, make a move.
“It’s always a pleasant thing to see women make the first move.”
Jamie, 29, says he finds women making the first move to be super hot and sexy because it shows they’re attracted to him and not afraid to admit it. If she’s willing to risk rejection, you know she’s a person who can open up and be vulnerable and fight for what she wants. It’s a quality that would attract the right guys.
“Whether I end up liking her or not, she’s got my attention.”
According to Ivan, he dates a lot of women both online and in real life and he always loves it when they’re the ones who start the conversation or set up a first date. Even if he’s not really interested in her, he’s going to put some effort into getting to know her just because she made the first move.
“It’s one of the best compliments a woman can give you.”
Andy is a guy I met at a coffee shop and he had this to say: “Men don’t get compliments often, so having someone be so interested in me that she’s willing to make the first move makes me feel like I’m high on drugs. My confidence is going to be on steroids and I’d definitely want to be around the person who inspires that feeling.”
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