Do I Really Like Him? 40 Signs And Ways To Know For Sure

If you’re single and looking for your person, you’ve probably had a few crushes. Some may have turned into situationships or even full-blown relationships, while others have fizzled out into nothing when you realized that you weren’t as into him as you thought. You don’t want to waste your time on someone you’re not actually feeling, but how do you know if that’s the case? “Do I really like him?” may seem like an easy enough question to answer, but that’s not always true.

To help you figure out how you’re really feeling and if you truly like him rather than just the idea of him you’ve concocted in your brain, we’ve put together an article that should get you there.

Tips for figuring out how you really feel about a guy

1. Figure out what you’re looking for.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I lonely or looking for companionship? Sometimes, we’re drawn to people simply because we don’t want to be alone. It’s important to distinguish between wanting a partner and wanting that specific person.
  • Is there external pressure? Society, friends, or family might be nudging you toward a relationship. Are you interested in him or just the idea of appeasing the people around you?
  • Do I feel a need to “fix” him? Being attracted to potential rather than the current reality can lead to disappointment.

2. Analyze your interactions with him.

Consider:

  • The “friend test” If he was just a friend, would you still enjoy spending time with him? Your partner should also be a good friend. That being said, make sure you don’t just have friendly feelings for him.
  • The consistency of your feelings Do you only feel a connection in certain settings (like when you’re drinking or during group outings), or is it consistent?
  • How you communicate Are conversations forced or do they flow naturally? Do you feel like you can be your genuine self around him?

3. Consider your level of physical attraction.

Look into:

  • Beyond skin-deep Sure, he might be handsome, but is there a deeper physical connection? Sparks are great, but they shouldn’t be the sole foundation of your attraction. After all, beauty fades — there has to be something more there that tes you together.
  • How you feel after intimacy. Do you feel closer and more connected, or distant and regretful? Obviously, if you haven’t slept with him, you can’t really assess this. If you have, do have a think.

4. Think about what you want in the future.

In particular:

  • Do your lifestyles and goals line up? Do your futures look compatible? It’s not just about liking someone now, but also about where you both are headed. It might be a “fine for now” situation, but if there are no long-term prospects, leave it be.
  • Would you compromise for him? Are there things you’d be willing to adjust for him? This shows a deeper level of commitment and and signifies that you do genuinely like him. If you don’t want to make room for him in your life, you don’t want him in it.

5. Check in with your feelings.

Reflect on:

  • Happiness vs. anxiety. Does thinking about him bring more joy or stress? Your emotional response is a big clue. If you feel more unsettled than you do content and comfortable when you think about him, learn from that.
  • The “good morning” test Is he one of the first things you think about when you wake up (in a good way)? If so, you might really like him.

6. Pay attention to what your gut is saying.

Your intuition often knows what’s up, even if your brain is still processing. If something feels off, don’t brush it aside. At the same time, if your gut is giving you the green light, that’s a good sign. Your intuition will rarely ever lead you astray.

7. Talk to your girls about it.

Sometimes discussing your feelings can provide clarity. Close friends often offer valuable insights since they know you well and want what’s best for you. They’ll give you some real feedback and won’t mince words when it comes to how they feel about him and the situation.

8. Spend time away from him to assess your feelings.

Try taking a break from seeing him. Do you miss him or just the idea of being with someone? This will help you differentiate genuine feelings from fleeting emotions.

“Do I really like him?” 40 signs your feelings are legit

smiling couple posing together

provided by iStock

  1. Your Spotify playlists are full of stuff he loves/that makes you think of him. You’ve started adding songs to your playlist because they remind you of him or he introduced them to you.
  2. You smile for no reason at all. You catch yourself grinning at odd times because you remember something he said or did. Your friends sometimes ask what’s going on with you because you’re so giggly and smiley.
  3. You spend a lot of time checking out what he’s up to on social media. You’ve secretly checked his social media more than once, not in a creepy way, but just to feel connected.
  4. You have pretend conversations with him in your head. You’ve practiced conversations with him in the shower or while getting dressed.
  5. Your fashion sense is shifting just slightly. You start wearing colors or outfits you know he’s complimented before.
  6. You’ve scribbled his name on a Post-It or piece of paper like you’re in middle school. You doodle or type his name during idle moments, maybe even pairing it with yours (old school, but it happens!).
  7. You think of ways to incorporate him into your friend group. You’re eager to introduce him to your friends or, conversely, nervous about their opinions because you value them so much.
  8. Random places become super sentimental. Places you visit regularly now have new meaning because you went there once with him.
  9. You order his favorite foods at restaurants as a way of being closer to him. You’re more open to trying foods or cuisines he likes, even if you never had an interest before.
  10. You read your old text conversations like a book. You go back and re-read text conversations between the two of you.
  11. Your iPhone storage is running out because of all the memes you keep for him. You save memes or jokes especially to share with him because the same things crack you up.
  12. He shows up in your dreams over and over again. He’s made a cameo in your dreams, even if it’s something random like both of you being in a shopping cart race.
  13. Random little things that remind you of him. Ordinary objects start reminding you of him—a brand of chips, a color of a shirt, a certain car model.
  14. Even his worst jokes make you crack up. You laugh a little harder at his jokes, even the bad ones. You’re not pretending to be amused by him, you genuinely are!
  15. You want to get into the things he’s into. You consider picking up a hobby or activity he’s into, even briefly.
  16. You try to smell extra good when you’re hanging out. You put extra thought into which perfume to wear when you know you’ll see him.
  17. You’ve never paid more attention to anything a guy had to say. You become genuinely interested in subjects or topics he’s passionate about, even if they previously bored you.
  18. You stare at your phone willing him to get in touch. You anxiously wait for his texts or calls, and get a mini adrenaline rush when you see his name pop up.
  19. You’re quick to jump to his defense. You feel a strange urge to defend him if someone says something even slightly negative.
  20. You want to share knowledge with him. You find yourself wanting to teach him things you’re passionate about and bring him into your world.
  21. You watch all his favorite shows just because he likes them. You start a TV series or movie saga solely because he mentioned it.
  22. You can perfectly picture a future with him. You occasionally catch yourself daydreaming about future adventures or moments with him. You know you could build an amazing life with him if you just had the chance.
  23. Even his weird habits and behaviors seem cute to you. You notice little quirks or habits he has and they just endear him more to you.
  24. You love having private jokes with him. You both have inside jokes that nobody else gets.
  25. You buy little things for him just to make him smile. When shopping, you spot things he might like and consider buying them “just because.”
  26. You have a pic of him on your phone. He’s the background of your phone, even if it’s a sneaky shot from a group pic.
  27. You find yourself using a lot of the slang he uses unintentionally. You try using phrases or words he uses, even if they’ve never been part of your vocabulary.
  28. You’re extremely attached to music that’s played when you’ve been hanging out. You associate certain songs with moments you’ve shared with him.
  29. You’re suddenly in an amazing mood when he comes around. Your mood instantly lifts when you’re around him. Even if you were having the worst day ever, that all changes when you get together.
  30. You have loads of different cute nicknames for him. You’ve made up playful nicknames for him in your head or with your besties.
  31. You love doing impressions of him to make him laugh. You’ve imitated his voice or mannerisms playfully when he’s not around.
  32. You tell him a lot of your secrets. There are things you’ve shared with him that very few people know because you know your secrets are safe with him. He never judges you or makes you feel weird about anything you say.
  33. Whenever you’re around him, you feel safe and secure. His presence makes you feel safe, emotionally or physically.
  34. You’re always curious about his opinion on things. You value his opinion on matters, sometimes even more than your own.
  35. You know his favorite foods by heart. You remember his food dislikes and preferences, and sometimes even order for him.
  36. You notice little changes he makes to his appearance. You notice tiny details about him, like when he’s wearing a new shirt or when he gets a haircut, even if it was just a minor trim.
  37. You notice his absence when he’s not there. You notice when he’s not around or absent from group hangouts.
  38. You’re never too tired or too busy to hang out with him. Even if you’re exhausted or have a hectic schedule, you’d rally just to spend a few moments with him.
  39. You could listen to him read the phone book. His voice on the phone is enough to make your day better.
  40. He keeps you in the present. No matter how ‘zoned out’ you are, he has the ability to pull you back to the present.

A few things to remember

1. There’s a difference between liking someone and thinking they’re hot.

Sure, physical attraction counts for a lot — you’re not romantically attracted to someone if you don’t want to jump their bones.

However, just because your pulse races when he takes his shirt off or he’s been the subject of many of your naughty dreams, that doesn’t mean you like him. You simply like the idea of getting physical with him. That’s not nothing, but it’s not something, either, if you feel me.

2. You shouldn’t have to force things.

The fact that you’re even questioning the legitimacy of your feelings and wondering if you really like him could mean that you’re having doubts. Maybe you’ve noticed a few red flags that are giving you pause, or maybe you’re not really in a place for a relationship but are feeling the pressure to couple up. Either way, it could be that not everything is lining up.

When you like someone, it should come naturally. You wake up in the morning excited to see him and you get butterflies even thinking of him. Pushing yourself to feel that way is unnecessary and

3. Even if you like him, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to be together.

Let’s say your feelings for him are real and you do really like him. That’s great! However, you shouldn’t automatically assume you’re about to sail off into the sunset and live happily ever after. For one thing, that doesn’t take into account where he is. He may not reciprocate your feelings, for one thing, or he may already be in a relationship or not really want one right now.

And even if you do like each other, there’s also the chance that you might just not be compatible. If you want different things in life or your personalities are too different, you could clash instead of coming together harmoniously.

In conclusion

Figuring out your feelings for a guy can be a journey. Give yourself time, reflect honestly, and trust in your feelings. Relationships are beautiful when built on genuine affection and mutual respect. So, take a moment to figure out where you truly stand — it’ll be worth it.

Remember, there’s no rush. It’s better to be certain about your feelings than to dive headfirst into something uncertain. Embrace the journey of understanding your heart. Do you really like him? Maybe, but either way, you’ll be just fine.

Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.