If You’re Doing These 12 Things, You’re Making Single Life Harder Than It Needs To Be

If You’re Doing These 12 Things, You’re Making Single Life Harder Than It Needs To Be

Being single can be a blast, but sometimes it feels like you’re climbing uphill with a backpack full of bricks. Ever feel that way? Well, you might be doing some things that are turning solo living into hard mode without even realizing it. It’s not about changing who you are, but maybe tweaking how you do the single life. Let’s walk through a few habits that might be making your single journey a tad rougher than it needs to be.

1. You Overanalyze Every Date.

So, you went on a date, and now you’re dissecting every moment. “They ordered the salad — is that a sign?” Let me tell you, turning your dates into a psychological puzzle is like adding unnecessary homework to your life. If they take an extra second to reply to a text, it’s probably not a secret code that they’re not into you. Overthinking can make dating feel like a chore rather than what it should be — fun! Next time, why not just roll with it and see where things go?

2. You Compare Your Single Life to Everyone Else’s Relationship Status.

Ah, the ol’ social media trap. You see another “She said yes!” post and there you go, feeling like you missed the memo on love. But let’s get real, comparing your unfiltered life to their highlight reel? That’s not a fair game. Just because you’re not posting cutesy couple pics doesn’t mean you’re not winning at life. Your journey’s just different, and hey, that’s totally okay.

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4. You Say Yes to Every Set-Up.

Bless our well-meaning friends, but if you’re treating every setup like a potential love story, you might be casting too wide a net. Being open to love doesn’t mean you have to say ‘yes’ to every Tom, Dick, or Harriet your pals throw your way. It’s fine to be selective and wait for setups that genuinely excite you. Trust me, your time’s too precious to be spent on dates that feel more like job interviews for a role you’re not even sure you want.

5. You Think ‘The One’ Will Fix Everything.

If you’re waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to ride in and fix up your life, spoiler alert: it’s not happening. No one’s coming with a magic wand to zap away all your problems. Looking for someone to ‘complete you’ is like expecting a houseplant to fix a leaky roof — it’s just not equipped for the job. Instead, focus on making your single life as amazing as possible. That way, if someone special does come along, they’re joining an adventure that’s already pretty great.

6. You’re Overwhelmed by Dating Apps.

Dating apps — they’re like the all-you-can-eat buffets of the dating world. But if you’re swiping left and right like you’re playing a game of digital ping-pong, it’s time to take a breather. When your phone’s buzzing with more matches than messages from mom, maybe take a step back. Quality over quantity, folks. Deleting a few apps can actually give you a clearer headspace to connect with people who might end up being more than just a profile picture. Plus, your thumbs will definitely thank you for the break.

7. You’ve Made a Checklist for the Perfect Partner.

Let’s talk about that infamous checklist for your dream partner. You know, the one that’s so specific it might as well include their preferred toothpaste brand. It’s cool to know what you want, but if your list is longer than a grocery list for a family of eight, you might be boxing yourself into a corner. People are like surprise grab bags; they come with traits you didn’t even know you’d dig. So, maybe it’s time to shorten that list to the stuff that really matters and give some unexpected folks a chance. You might just be surprised at who can tickle your fancy.

8. You Avoid Going Out Unless It’s a Date.

Staying in is the new going out, sure, but if the only time you see the outside world is for a date, you might be putting too much pressure on your love life. Get out there and hit up that dance class, go to a gig, or just have a laugh with friends at a trivia night. Being single is about enjoying life’s buffet, and trust me, there’s plenty to savor outside of the dating scene. You never know who you’ll meet when you’re just out having fun, living your best life.

9. You’re hung up on your ex.

Alright, be honest — when was the last time you went on a social media deep-dive into your ex’s life? If you’re still hung up on what was, you’re not giving yourself a shot at what could be. Nostalgia is a tricky beast; it’s got a siren call, but it’s like quicksand for your love life. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting the good times; it just means you’re ready to make some new memories that don’t include them. Your ex is in the rearview, and life’s happening right now, front and center.

10. You Feel Like You’re on a Timeline.

Who came up with the rule that life’s big milestones need to be checked off by a certain age? If you’re racing against some imaginary clock to find someone, you’re just adding stress where none is needed. Life’s not a board game where you need to hit certain spaces by your next birthday. So, hey, toss out that timeline. There’s no prize for finishing first, and honestly, the journey’s too much fun to rush through anyway.

11. You Believe Being Single Means Being Lonely.

Let’s get this straight: flying solo does not mean you’ve got to be the lonely heart club president. If you’re equating single with lonely, you’re selling the solo life short. Being on your own is the perfect time to spread out, take up space, and fill your life with adventures, passions, and friendships that make you buzz with excitement. It’s your chance to discover that hey, you’re pretty awesome company. And let’s be real, sometimes being alone can be way more fulfilling than being with someone who doesn’t light up your world.

12. You Don’t Value Your Own Company.

If you don’t enjoy hanging out with yourself, you’re missing out on the most important relationship you’ve got. Think about it — you’re the one person you’re stuck with for, well, forever. So, if you’re always looking for distractions or the next social gathering to avoid being alone, try hitting pause. Get to know yourself. Take yourself out on a date. What makes you laugh? What stirs up those butterflies of excitement? Find out what you love to do and do more of it. Falling in love with your own company is the secret sauce to not just surviving the single life, but totally rocking it.

13. You Overvalue Romantic Relationships Over Other Types.

Alright, let’s hit the pause button for a sec. If you think the only relationship worth having is a romantic one, you’re tossing aside a whole treasure chest of connection gold. Friendships, family ties, work buddies — these relationships are the unsung heroes of our social lives. They offer support, laughter, and a sense of belonging that doesn’t hinge on your relationship status. By putting all your emotional eggs in the romance basket, you might be missing out on a lot of joy and support from the people who are already in your corner. Mix it up! Dive into your friendships, invest in your family, and make the most of your work networks. These relationships can be just as fulfilling, and hey, they’re a big part of what makes life rich and colorful.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.