To All Those Guys With Commitment Issues: Grow The Hell Up

A lot of guys are totally fine ACTING like your boyfriend, but when you want to put an official title on it, they freak out and run in the opposite direction. I’ve put up with it in the past, figuring that if the guy I was seeing was my boyfriend in every way except in title, that was okay, but not anymore. If we’ve been dating for a while and you’re still freaking out about commitment, you can either get a grip or get out.

  1. Commitment is required in almost every aspect of life. In order to function at all as any kind of an adult, you have to make commitments. You absolutely have to pay your rent on time, put gas in your car, and call your mother before she shows up at your apartment to make sure you’re still alive. Why is it such a big deal to commit to a woman you really like? I’m not asking you to put a ring on it (yet, anyway), so I don’t really get it.
  2. Running away is cowardly. A lot of guys are all about being “dudes” and “bros” and not being “little bitches,” and yet they’ll straight up ghost you if you get too real on them. Running away because you’re afraid of commitment is pathetic, so strap your balls on and step up to the plate before you lose me.
  3. The old saying is true — no risk, no reward. I don’t exactly know why so many guys are so terrified of being tied down. Sometimes it’s probably out of fear that the fun is over; maybe they’re actually afraid of getting hurt. Regardless, risks are necessary in life and relationships are one of those risks. If you want me, you have to be willing to take a chance on me. Otherwise, what are we doing?
  4. If you don’t go to work, you don’t get paid. I don’t think your boss would be too amused if you didn’t come to work for a month and expected a normal paycheck. You have to be committed to get your payday. Relationships are the same. If you’re only half in it, you’re only going to get half out… and usually it’s the crazy half if you’re being a jerk. I’ll be an amazing girlfriend to you, but not if you’re not even willing to call yourself my boyfriend.
  5. Breaking up sucks, but it is doable. Okay guys, so maybe you’re afraid of the breakup. Honestly, ending a relationship sucks and no one wants to go through it, but it’s part of life and it is survivable. Plus, even if we don’t end up working out, it doesn’t mean our whole relationship was a waste. If you’re only avoiding commitment because of the potential for failure, get over it.
  6. Plenty of men commit, and they’re still fine. Look around you. I bet you know plenty of dudes who are committed to wonderful women. If they can settle down with an amazing woman, so can you! The thing about it is that you have to actually try the committed part. I think you’ll find it’s not all that different from the relationship we already have.
  7. The more you mess with women, the crazier we get. It’s really a vicious cycle. Man is afraid of commitment, spends time with woman anyway. Woman feels like she’s being played, so she starts to get crazy. Man doesn’t want the crazy woman, so he refuses to commit… and it goes on, and on, and on. All because you can’t stand the idea of being “tied down.” Good grief.
  8. Good women are hard to come by, so you should consider yourself lucky you found one. So maybe you’re one of those guys that’s afraid your life will end if you settle down. No more bro time, no more boobies, no more fun, right?! WRONG. You can still have your guys’ nights, watch annoying sports games and do your thing. The right woman is going to want you to do all that she can can do her chick stuff. I certainly won’t stand in your way.
  9. Look at your grandparents — they’ve been together for decades and they love it. Our grandparents’ generation is a great example of why our generation’s commitment problems are truly pathetic. They’ve seen more wars, revolutions, economic collapses and more. They had to date without their phones (OMG), even, and yet you see one of these older couples and they are still happily married. If they can do it without Tinder, you can totally handle it too.
  10. Oh, and also, grow the hell up. Not sure I have to spell this one out for you, but just in case… allow me. Your commitment problems are kind of pathetic, and if you want to get laid and not end up alone, you need to grow up.
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314