The Happiest Introverts Avoid These 18 Little Things

The Happiest Introverts Avoid These 18 Little Things

Sometimes, the things that energize extroverts are the exact things that leave us introverts feeling totally drained. Instead of forcing ourselves to conform, it’s time to embrace what makes us thrive! By recognizing the subtle (and not so subtle) energy zappers, we can build a life that honors our quieter nature and lets us shine on our own terms.

1. Overstimulating environments

Rear view of large group of people enjoying a concert performance. There are many raised hands in front of the camera.

Loud concerts, bustling malls, crowded open-plan offices… These places are kryptonite for many introverts. As Psychology Today confirms, we get overwhelmed by too much sensory input, so if it’s avoidable, we’ll happily choose the quiet café over the busy bar. Choosing environments where we feel comfortable is key to our happiness. After all, who wants to spend their precious free time feeling stressed and on edge?

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2. Too much unnecessary small talk

Talking about the weather for a hot second is fine, but hours of forced social banter can be exhausting. We crave deeper connections, so superficial conversations often feel like a waste of our precious social energy. Don’t get us wrong, we enjoy a good chat, but we want it to be about something meaningful! Skip the surface-level stuff and dive into the real conversations – that’s where we thrive.

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3. Spontaneous social plans with no warning

An unexpected knock at the door or last-minute party invite are things we dread. We need time to mentally recharge, so springing social situations on us can feel stressful rather than fun. While a little spontaneity is great sometimes, we function best when we can prepare ourselves mentally for outings. A quick heads-up makes a world of difference.

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4. Feeling pressure to be extroverted

“Why are you so quiet?” or the dreaded “Come out of your shell!” Ugh. These comments only make us retreat further. Happy introverts know there’s nothing wrong with needing quiet time, so we ignore the pressure. Introversion isn’t a flaw to be fixed – it’s a superpower! We understand the importance of self-acceptance, and we’re not going to apologize for who we are. Plus, pretending to be more extroverted than we naturally are is incredibly harmful in the long run, Harvard Business Review points out.

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5. Group projects where we can’t shine

two male colleagues talking in office

Being forced to brainstorm out loud with a big group? Not our jam. We shine brighter working solo or in smaller teams where we have space to think before sharing our well-considered ideas. Different work styles are all valid, and introverts know their strengths. Put us in the right environment, and we’ll blow you away with our insights!

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6. Ignoring our need for solitude

Man looking serious at the camera while standing in front of a group of people. Team and leadership concept.

Even happy introverts can’t socialize all day! Pushing ourselves past our limits leads to burnout and grumpy-introvert syndrome. We know how to say “no” to plans and schedule time for quiet reflection. This alone time is like fuel for our introvert souls. It’s how we reset and recharge, ensuring we have the energy to be our best, most social selves.

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7. Open-plan offices with zero privacy

The constant chatter, the visual distractions…it’s a nightmare! We thrive with some personal space and quiet to focus. If stuck in a loud office, we’ll master the art of noise-canceling headphones. Introverts value deep work, and we need an environment that supports that. Throw us a quiet corner or let us work from home sometimes, and you’ll see our productivity soar.

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8. Comparing ourselves to extroverts

A smiling elegant African-American female using her smartphone while sitting on the cozy sofa in the living room.

Our extroverted friends seem to have endless energy for social stuff. That’s awesome for them, but it’s not our jam. We embrace our quiet power and avoid comparing ourselves to anyone else’s social style. Their way isn’t better or worse, it’s simply different. We celebrate our strengths and focus on what makes us happy, even if it means turning down the occasional party invite.

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9. Feeling guilty for needing quiet nights at home

Friday night FOMO is not something we experience. A cozy evening in with a book and a cup of herbal tea sounds perfect! We don’t apologize for needing to recharge in our own way; self-care is essential for introvert happiness. Ignoring our need for downtime leads to burnout, and a burnt-out introvert isn’t much fun for anyone! We’re learning to embrace those quiet nights without guilt because they’re vital to our well-being.

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10. Back-to-back social commitments

family having dinner around the tableiStock

One fun social event per weekend? Great! More than that, and we’ll likely melt down. We know how to pace ourselves and schedule in plenty of downtime to avoid overextending our social batteries. Spacing out our social engagements is like giving our brains breathing room. With careful planning, we can enjoy socializing without feeling completely drained afterward.

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11. Long phone calls that could have been an email

Phone calls can be draining, especially if they drag on endlessly. If it’s not urgent or complex, we’d much rather have that info in a quick text or email, so we can process it at our own pace. Long-winded phone calls can make us zone out and feel antsy. Respecting our time (and our preference for written communication!) helps us stay focused and engaged.

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12. Networking events where we’re forced to ‘sell’ ourselves

Schmoozing with strangers vying for attention can feel icky. We prefer making genuine connections over shallow self-promotion. Luckily, there are introvert-friendly ways to network too. Think smaller gatherings, online communities, or one-on-one conversations. We shine in environments where we can build authentic relationships, not just collect business cards.

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13. Criticism dished out without gentleness

Introverts tend to be sensitive souls. Harsh criticism cuts deep, so we avoid people who dish it out without thought. We appreciate constructive feedback delivered with kindness and understanding. Harsh words linger in our minds and can discourage us from putting ourselves out there. A little sensitivity goes a long way in helping us feel respected and valued.

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14. Having our thoughts and feelings dismissed

Just because we’re quiet, doesn’t mean we don’t have valuable insights. Happy introverts avoid people who shut us down or don’t make space for us to contribute to the conversation. We might take a little longer to speak up, but when we do, it’s usually worth hearing! Feeling actively listened to makes us comfortable sharing our ideas.

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15. Unreliable people who flake out at the last minute

It throws a wrench in our introvert plans. We value people who respect our time and understand that we often carefully plan our social outings to ensure we don’t get overwhelmed. Friends who are consistently reliable earn our trust and make us feel valued. After all, we put effort into showing up for our loved ones, and we appreciate the same in return.

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16. Being forced to make decisions on the spot

Confused puzzled and upset female accountant working from home at kitchen table, having troubles with laptop internet connection or annual financial report, looking at camera frowning and shrugging

Introverts like to process things before taking action. Being pressured into a quick “yes” or “no” can make us feel flustered. If possible, we appreciate having some time to think things over before responding. Rushing our thought process can lead to less-than-ideal choices. A little space lets us weigh options and make decisions we feel confident about.

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17. Superficial friendships based on gossip and drama

We crave meaningful connections, not petty gossip sessions. Happy introverts seek genuine friends who share our values and interests, not those who thrive on negativity and social drama. Investing in real friendships brings us joy and support. Drama, on the other hand, only adds unnecessary stress to our lives.

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18. Not embracing our introverted superpowers

Deep thinking skills, empathy, listening ability – all of these traits mean we rock! Happy introverts understand our strengths and don’t try to force ourselves to be someone we’re not. We celebrate our unique wiring! Sometimes the world makes us feel like being quiet is a negative thing, but we know better. Our introversion is a gift, and we embrace it wholeheartedly.

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Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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