Do you regularly moan to your friends about how you can’t seem to get a break in your dating life? You keep attracting toxic time-wasters who don’t care about you or bring drama to your doorstep. Enough is enough! Although dating is hard and there are lots of creepers out there, you could be doing things that are bringing them into your life. So, here are 10 harsh reasons why you keep falling for the wrong people and how to stop.
1. You’re Really Confused.
If you don’t know what you want, how will you ever get it? It’s easy to jump into a relationship because it’s fun and romantic, but when the dust settles, you could end up in a relationship with someone who doesn’t tick your boxes. You know why? ‘Cause you haven’t taken the time to figure out what you want in a partner! While you don’t want to restrict yourself to a dating type, you need to know what you want.
2. You’re Giving Off People-Pleaser Vibes.
If you’re ready to say “yes” to everyone you date, you’re giving toxic people the green light to treat you like crap. It’s no wonder that you get your heart burned to ash every time you enter into a relationship. Look, being nice is great, but if you’re too nice, people will take advantage of you and see you as weak. You don’t have to jump through hoops to get love – you should be loved for who you are.
3. You Don’t Know Who You Are (Sweetn can help with that).
In addition to knowing what you want from a relationship, you also need to know exactly who you are at your core. This informs your interests, values, and your personality as a whole. If you don’t have a complete handle on this yet and it’s ruining your relationships, our sister company, Sweetn, has really great advice, tips, and tricks to help you get there. They use research-backed methods to help you train your mind and change your love life. Check them out here.
4. You’re Easily Won Over.
Does all it take is a bit of charm and a few compliments to make you feel like a million bucks? If so, you could be too quick to fall in love with someone who hasn’t even proven that they’re going to treat you right. This could be happening to you if you’re low on self-confidence. It’s time to take a dating break and focus on learning to love yourself. Be strong in your self-worth so you’re nobody’s yo-yo.
5. You’re Disrespecting Yourself.
Look, if you don’t believe you’re amazing, then you’re going to allow yourself to be in situations where people treat you badly. You have to back yourself and know you’re worthy, so you don’t let people walk all over you and disrespect you. Start by showing yourself some respect, such as by noticing red flags when you start dating someone and prioritizing your happiness over them. You have to come first so you don’t settle.
6. You’re Looking For Superficial Traits.
If you’re focused on finding someone who has superficial traits, such as model-worthy good looks or tons of money, you’re headed down a trail of disappointment. They’re nice to look at and the lavish gifts they give you might be great, but they could be toxic inside, so what’s the point? You’re just wasting your time by looking for things that don’t matter much in the long run.
7. You’re Scared To Be Alone.
If you’re scared to be on your own, this could cause you to settle for less-than-great relationships. But at what price? It’s better to be alone and happy than to be stuck with someone who brings you down and makes you unhappy. Your life is worth so much more than that. Being alone is empowering and can show you how little you need someone else to validate you.
8. You Date Fantasies In Your Mind.
If you don’t face the reality of who your partner is, you could be fooling yourself into thinking the relationship’s going to be good for you. You might even be dating someone in your mind, building them up so you have your perfect partner, but this ideal image doesn’t match the person in reality. It’s time to wake up and see the person for what they are. Take stock of your feelings RN. If the person doesn’t make you happy most of the time, why are you with them?
9. You Want To Change Them.
You might think if your partner changed just one thing about themselves, they’d be a great partner. Um, okay. The problem with this is that you could try to change them, which never works. Never! It only backfires. The person might promise to change, but this just keeps you stuck in an unsatisfying relationship. Although someone can change, they have to do it for themselves. Rather search for someone who is what you want, not a WIP.
10. You’re Pretending To Be Something You’re Not.
Maybe you set up a dating profile and fill it with little white lies to attract certain people. Or, you try to be what you think your date wants so that you can find love. This is setting yourself up for failure, because sooner or later your deception will come out or you’ll realize you’re not getting what you want because you’re not being yourself. It’s never worth it to be loved for who you aren’t.
11. You’re Drawn To Drama.
If you always find yourself in drama-filled relationships, you have to stop and wonder why this keeps happening to you. Maybe you avoid nice people because you see them as boring or you’re so used to drama that you keep attracting it because you don’t know how to have a peaceful relationship. Reframe your ideas of love. While a fiery love can be exciting, it can also be unstable. By comparison, a peaceful relationship that’s stable can be more fulfilling.
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