He Still Hasn’t Asked You Out—Is It Time to Move On?

If you’re crushing on a guy and waiting for that fateful moment when he asks you on a date, make sure you’re not ignoring these signs that you’d be better off forgetting about him and falling for someone else.

It’s been months since you two started flirting.

Some guys take a while to get up the courage to ask a woman out, so don’t throw in the towel if he hasn’t made a move after just a couple of weeks. Once the weeks start turning into months, though, it’s not unfair for you to consider moving on if he doesn’t do something about his apparent crush. You can’t spend your life waiting for someone who seems to be dragging his feet.

You’re getting hot and cold vibes from him.

Does he pile on the flirtation one day and then act like you’re one of his bros the next day? Maybe he’s just awkward and doesn’t know how to act around someone he’s crushing on, but these kinds of mixed signals are a sign that you might be better off falling for someone who’s consistent in how he acts around you. Waiting for someone who’s clearly into you is one thing, but waiting for someone who might be in love with you or might hate you a little bit isn’t worth your time.

You’ve explicitly told him that you’re interested.

Look, we all know that the prospect of asking out your crush and then being rejected is terrifying. Honestly, it’s a wonder that anyone can muster up the courage to do it at all. However, a lot of that fear stems from the idea that the person you like might not feel the same way about you. If you’ve talked to this guy and told him straight up that you’re into him, he has no excuse not to ask you out if he’s into you too. At this point, any of his rationale to delay asking you on a date sounds more like an excuse than an actual reason.

He’s had multiple opportunities and hasn’t taken them.

For some guys, timing is everything. They want to make sure that they can ask you out in private, away from curious eyes and ears, and they may be too traditional to do it over text message. If this guy has wasted not just one but multiple perfect moments to ask you out, the “right moment” may never happen. You’ll be better off pursuing someone who seizes his chance when it’s provided to him.

It seems like he’s only interested in sex.

You may have this man’s intentions all wrong. If his compliments to you are all about your looks or he’s tried to get you to sext with him, he’s probably only looking for one thing and it sure isn’t a date. Not only is this guy probably never going to ask you out, but even if he did get up the courage to hang out with you one-on-one, it probably wouldn’t be for the reasons you’d hope for after months of waiting for him to make a move.

You’re not actually sure that he’s into you.

Look at the facts: is he actually showing you that he has a crush on you or is it just wishful thinking? If you’re 90% sure that he really does like you, then hey, feel free to hold out a little longer. If you’re really not sure how he feels about you, though, it might be time to just cut your losses and catch feelings for someone who also definitely feels the same. You can’t waste your life holding out for someone based on a hunch.

Someone else you might like is being more forward with you.

Hopefully you haven’t put all your feelings into one basket (or guy) and your heart is still open to finding something real with someone else. If you have multiple crushes and one of those guys seems like he’s way more eager to get to know you, why would you stop your life for the one who’s taking an eon to do anything about his feelings for you?

You’re starting to get annoyed with him. 

The prospect of a date with someone you like should be exciting. That excitement, however, can be replaced with annoyance when the object of your affection seems to be waiting until the next solar eclipse to ask you out. Starting a potential relationship off with a boatload of resentment never ends well, and if you feel like you’re headed toward that path, it’s best to just let him go and move on with your life for both of your sakes.

You’re only continuing to wait because you’ve already waited so long. 

The sunk cost fallacy has convinced many people to stay in relationships (or “flirtationships”) that were doing them no good. Just because you’ve waited months for this guy to make a move doesn’t mean you should continue to wait even longer so all that time doesn’t go to waste. All you’d be doing is wasting even more time that could’ve been spent either alone (and emotionally better off) or with someone who actually did something about his feelings for you.

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