If there’s one thing that the romcoms of the early noughties sold to us, it’s that you had to play hard to get to get a guy hooked on you. You have to be cool enough to get all the guys’ attention but never be so bold as to actively seek it out. The key is to appear above it all while still being eminently accessible. That was how to get him hooked on you. If you’re confused by these slightly dated hypocrisies, here are some actual ways to reel him in.
- Play hard to get. I know I listed this as one of the things that all the romcoms played up, but hey, it works. You can shout at me all you want: we all want what we can’t have. It’s what keeps us moving. We can argue the healthy aspect of it to the moon and back, but it gets us going. The smooth, suave, mysterious new girl at school always got all the attention, as did the new shiny thing (to borrow a terrible Bridget Jonesean phrase of a generation gone by) at the office party. Just be something he can’t have, and you will be all he ever wanted. The trick is realizing that men don’t know what they want, you can’t tell them. You just have to withhold it. Get it? Good.
- Be attentive, not overwhelming. No one wants to be suffocated, but we all want to feel heard. To know that someone is listening when we complain about work, talk about being worried about our siblings, or proud of a play you made in your soccer league that week. Make sure that you pay attention and ask him questions about himself, not mindless ice-breaker ones. Deep questions are good. So is merely knowing his schedule and making an effort when you know he has a presentation coming up and might be stressed. Guys are so used to having to just deal with their emotions in private that having a healthy outlet will do them the world of good. The bar is on the floor, yes, but let’s raise it.
- Make his friends like you. Like Tan France says on Queer Eye, “Make an effort.” It’s not hard to offer to watch his football match, or suggest getting tickets for a show he likes. Especially if he’s doing the same to you. It’s not something that only a guy should do, planning dates and choosing ways to spend time together. To get him to keep chasing you, chase him a little! Take ownership of the relationship and he’ll be all over that power play. And yes, the guy will end up hooked on you. It’s 2021, there’s no time for passivity. Show him that you’re interested in his life if you like him and you will get the same attention back and strengthen that bond. You might even pick up a new hobby, who knows?
- Send memes! It’s cheap, free, and easy, why not? Be it a cute cat on a TikTok, or a ridiculous Instagram meme, if it made you think of him, tell him! We all know that there is no greater compliment than being told you have been living rent-free in his mind. It’s a great reminder that even if you spent all day thinking about him, so did he. You will understand about his humor, his life, and his interests – it’s all about what makes us tick!
- Introduce him to your parents. Don’t wait for him to make the first move. Be brave enough to show your cards first. Commit to him and make yourself vulnerable by showing him parts of your history. He will start to think of your future together once he has seen your past and where you come from. There’s something so special about making that connection between who the person you love used to be, and how they came to be the person you know now. Plus, everyone’s cute in baby pics. That’s just a fact.
- Go on nights out without him. Show him what he’s missing. Take some time for yourself and get some distance. Hang with your friends, check up on your work colleagues, call your brother. For the love of all that is good and pure, don’t forget about the other people in your life when you get into a new relationship. Maintaining that balance between the people in your life will give you a great foundation to work with and a support system to help you through the new relationship stages. He will notice that you are a stable and interesting person and those are attractive qualities.
In short, there is no one way to love someone. You can’t force anyone to like you, but there are ways to make sure that your real, genuine self is on display. You will find that this effortlessly gets the guy you like hooked on you, because who wouldn’t want your authentic self?
