It pains me that I even have to write this article — that putting on a few pounds is enough to make anyone rethink whether or not they’re worthy of finding love or feel nervous about looking for it. However, I know this is something a lot of people struggle with, so if you’ve gained some weight recently and it’s knocking your confidence, here’s how to get over it so you can get out there and date some amazing people.
1. Realize that your weight isn’t tied to your worthiness.
This is truly first and foremost. The number on the scale has literally zero to do with how lovable you are, how good of a partner you’ll be, or anything else, really. I do Peloton and one of my favorite instructors, Christine D’Ercole, is always saying “you’re bigger than a smaller size of pants.” In other words, you can’t base your self-worth on your size. The two things have literally nothing to do with each other. The sooner you separate them in your mind, the sooner you’ll get back to loving yourself the way you should.
2. Keep those online dating profiles up to date.
This one is tough but it’s important to note. People (read: usually men) love to accuse other people (read: usually women) of catfishing if their dating profile photos don’t match what they look like in person. However, this happens with all genders. One of the biggest complaints is when people don’t show full-body shots purposely, and if they happen to be larger than average, their date claims they feel “tricked’ when they meet up in person. Part of having the confidence to date after gaining weight is accepting yourself enough to be upfront about what you look like. There’s nothing wrong with it, so why should you hide it? Upload some new photos and show just how hot you are.
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4. Dress for your body — and that means whatever makes you feel hot.
When people tell you to “dress for your body,” they’re usually trying to dictate what they believe is “appropriate” or “flattering” based on your size and shape. While wearing well-fitting clothes that suit your style and curves will help you look amazing, the truth is that you should wear whatever the hell you want, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. Who’s to say that just because you gained a bit of weight, you can’t still rock that mini-dress or sleeveless top? If it makes you feel hot, you’ll look hot, and that should give you plenty of confidence as you head out for a date.
5. Call your hype (wo)men before heading out for a date.
Your closest friends will remind you why you’re so amazing, what a catch you are, and how lucky anyone would be to have you. Before you leave the house to meet up with the person lucky enough to spend the afternoon/evening with you, give them a ring and enjoy their pep talk. They’ll be happy to pump you up and get you excited about meeting someone new rather than freaking out about it internally. By the time you meet up with your date, you’ll feel like a million bucks (as you should).
6. Don’t sweat it too much.
At the end of the day, freaking out about your weight and how it pertains to your love life is kind of a fruitless endeavor. Not only does your size not really matter to a lot of people, but it’s important to note that everyone finds different things attractive. While some people might not be into someone who’s not a size 0/super tiny, there are other people out there who will think you’re even more attractive with a little meat on your bones. At the end of the day, it really is no big deal. Be you — anyone will be lucky to have you.
