Having your trust broken by someone you believed would never betray you can seriously destroy you inside. Not only does it make you second-guess your ability to judge people’s character, but it makes you afraid to ever let someone in again. However, that would only make you miss out on some amazing relationships in the future. If you need help trusting again, here’s how to do it.
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
First things first, it’s totally okay to feel upset, angry, or betrayed. These feelings are valid, and pushing them aside won’t do you any favors. Take some time to process what happened. It’s like letting the dust settle after a storm before you start cleaning up.
Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling. This isn’t about dwelling on the negative, but rather, acknowledging your emotions as a part of healing. It’s the first step in moving forward.
2. Reflect on what happened.
Once you’re ready, take a step back and think about what went down. Was it a misunderstanding, a mistake, or a deliberate breach of trust? Understanding the context helps in figuring out how to move forward. It’s not about reliving the pain but about gaining clarity.
Reflecting helps you learn from the experience. What red flags did you miss? What can you do differently in the future? This reflection turns a tough situation into a learning opportunity.
3. Consider the benefits of being able to trust. (Sweetn can help you with that.)
You might feel like the risks are greater than the rewards, but there are so many great things that come along with a relationship in which trust is reciprocated. If you’re struggling with that, our sister site, Sweetn, could be just what you need. They have the best advice, tips, and tricks on how to use the power of your own mind to change every aspect of your love life, including this one.
4. Set new boundaries.
Getting burned is often a sign that new boundaries are needed. Think about what limits you can set to protect yourself in the future. This might mean distancing yourself from the person who hurt you or being more cautious in new relationships.
Setting boundaries is empowering. It’s about taking control of your interactions and ensuring that your emotional well-being is prioritized. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re guidelines that help you navigate relationships more safely.
5. Be patient — you can’t fix things overnight.
Trust is like a plant – it needs time to grow. Don’t rush into trusting someone again, especially if the wound is fresh. It’s okay to take things slow and rebuild trust at your own pace. There’s no timeline for healing.
Give yourself the time you need to feel comfortable trusting again. It might take weeks, months, or even longer – and that’s okay. Healing is a journey, not a race.
6. Start small by taking baby steps.
When you’re ready to start trusting again, begin with small steps. Maybe it’s opening up a little to a friend or giving someone a small responsibility. You don’t have to go from zero to a hundred right away.
These small steps of trust are like test runs. They help you build confidence in your judgment and in others, gradually restoring your faith in people.
7. Focus on the strong relationships in your life.
Spend time with people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy. These positive relationships can help restore your faith in people. It’s a reminder that while someone may have betrayed your trust, many others have not.
These positive experiences reinforce that trustworthiness still exists. Surrounding yourself with supportive and honest people can be incredibly healing.
8. Remember that not everyone is the same.
Just because one person screwed you over doesn’t mean everyone will. It’s important to remember that people are different. Painting everyone with the same brush can prevent you from forming meaningful connections.
Approach new relationships with cautious optimism. It’s about finding a balance between being careful and being open to new, trustworthy connections.
9. Learn to trust yourself again.
Sometimes, getting screwed over can shake your confidence in your own judgment. You might start doubting your ability to read people or situations. It’s important to rebuild trust in yourself first. Remember past instances when you made good decisions and trusted the right people.
Start by making small decisions and trusting your gut on them. As you see these choices pan out well, your confidence in your judgment will gradually be restored. Trusting yourself is the foundation for trusting others.
10. Don’t let bitterness overtake you.
Holding onto bitterness or resentment is like letting the person who hurt you live rent-free in your head. It’s important to process these feelings but also crucial not to let them define your outlook on life. Bitterness can cloud your judgment and impact future relationships.
Try to find ways to let go of resentment. This might involve forgiveness (for your own peace, not necessarily for the other person) or simply deciding to move on. A positive outlook helps in being open to new, trustworthy relationships.
11. Think about what trust means and looks like to you.
What does trust look like in your eyes? Understanding your own expectations and standards of trust can be enlightening. It helps you set clearer boundaries and communicate your needs better in future relationships.
Consider writing down what trust means to you and what it looks like in practice. This clarity will help you navigate relationships more effectively and recognize trustworthy behaviors in others.
12. Embrace vulnerability little by little — don’t rush it.
Reopening yourself to vulnerability is a big part of trusting again. It’s natural to want to shield yourself after being hurt, but vulnerability is key to forming deep connections. The trick is to not rush it. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in small, manageable ways.
Share a little bit about yourself with someone you feel might be trustworthy, and see how it goes. As you experience positive responses, you’ll gradually feel more comfortable opening up more. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and embracing it can lead to richer, more authentic relationships.
13. Communicate your feelings honestly and openly, no matter what they are.
If possible and appropriate, have a conversation with the person who broke your trust. Express how their actions affected you. It’s not about confrontation; it’s about expressing your feelings and getting closure. If talking to them isn’t an option or wouldn’t be healthy, consider writing it out or speaking to a therapist.
This communication is about your healing. It’s an opportunity to voice your feelings and possibly understand the other side of the story, which might help in processing what happened.
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