I’m An Amazing Woman, But Men Don’t Seem To Realize That

I’ve spent a lot of time recently building up my self-confidence and sense of worth. I know I have a lot to offer and I’m ready to show the world, but it feels like no one is paying attention. I feel that now that I’ve come into my own, men just aren’t into me. These are some of the frustrating ways they behave towards me:

  1. I’m constantly overlooked by men. It’s a good thing I don’t find my personal worth from the attention I get from guys, because I’m not getting any at all. Sometimes I feel like I’m literally invisible. I know that I’m still reasonably young and attractive, so why don’t they approach me? I feel like I live in the friend zone. I don’t know why because I’m pretty rad, if I do say so myself.
  2. I can’t seem to get respect from them. Either they respect and admire me “as a friend” or they dismiss me entirely. There’s no in between. If I’m interested in them romantically, they don’t take me seriously. I can’t understand why because there’s nothing frivolous about me whatsoever! I have a strong personality and I feel that I command respect from almost everyone in my life… except men I want to date. WTF?
  3. A lot of guys seem to be intimidated by me. Either they want nothing to do with me or they’re afraid of me. I have no time for a guy who thinks I’m frightening. That’s the most ridiculous thing in the world. I’m by no means perfect or successful or brilliant. I’m just a normal woman trying to do the best she can in this life. What’s so scary about that? I thought that my mature outlook on life would attract guys but it sends them running.
  4. I know I’m attractive but men never compliment me. Maybe they don’t think I am; maybe they assume I already know. Maybe they think they’ll sound creepy. Whatever the reason, I never get compliments on my appearance. It’s a superficial thing, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal, but it would be nice to be told I’m pretty once in a while! I don’t think guys realize how far a simple sweet word or two gets them.
  5. Most guys don’t want to make any effort with me. I know my worth and I know I deserve big love because that’s what I give. I won’t settle for less, but it’s getting really old dealing with lazy or passive men. It’s hard to stick to my guns when it gets more and more difficult to believe that any man is going to live up to my standards. I know it’s possible, but I’m not finding it out in the dating world lately and that scares me.
  6. I demand a certain level of maturity and most men aren’t up to the task. I won’t date any more childish, emotionally stunted dudes. It’s a waste of my time. I know that I deserve more, but every time I try to put myself out there I encounter the same thing: men who want mommies. I’m not here to take care of them. I’m here to be their equal partner. Because I feel this way, guys refuse to even try with me.
  7. Too many guys don’t like that I won’t let them treat me like I’m disposable. Because I know who I am and what I want, I won’t let men give me less. This helps me weed out the losers pretty easily because they are not down with giving me consistency and commitment. I can smell a player from a mile away now. The problem is when it seems like all I encounter are players and I start to feel like something is wrong with me.
  8. The minute I show guys I have substance, they run away — WTF? I thought that grown men would appreciate the fact that I’m not just some silly, superficial girl, but I guess if they just want to screw around that’s perfect for them. They don’t want to be serious or feel any feelings, so my newly found grounded and calm personality weirds them out. I’m open and I’m not afraid to be myself. Maybe that forces them to look inward and they don’t like having to do that, so they avoid me.
  9. Guys don’t give me the attention I require, even in the beginning. Let me be clear — I don’t need a guy to text me every five minutes or shower me with presents. I’m not needy. I do need a man to show me clear intentions and be proactive with me. I find that it’s a very important indicator of how he’ll be in a relationship, especially in the very beginning. I don’t date because I can’t find a man who gives me that clarity from the start. It sucks.
  10. I get friend-zoned… a lot. I do meet some men who I find to be compatible and interesting. They are either already taken or make sure to let me know right away that they aren’t into me. What is going on? I don’t understand. Sure, I have plenty of guys in my life who are just friends, but I feel like I get friend-zoned by everyone. It’s starting to screw with my mind. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, but maybe I’m just attracted to guys who aren’t right for me.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.