Guys think they’re being obvious about their feelings, but sometimes it’s hard to tell. You just want to know if he wants you. Is that really too much to ask? If you don’t overthink it, the signs are a little clearer, at least. Stop driving yourself crazy wondering and start looking for them. Remember, as long as he’s noticed you, there’s always a chance he’s interested.
- He’s always around. A guy isn’t going to waste his time on a woman unless she’s a really good friend or he wants her. He’ll make all kinds of excuses to spend a few extra minutes with you. He’ll even give up time with his friends just to say hello. No matter how “busy” he is, he manages to find time for you, which is actually pretty sweet.
- He’s Mr. Nervous. Does he seem confident around his friends and then turn into a fidgety klutz the moment he gets near you? That’s a major sign (probably one he’d rather hide) that he’s into you. He wants to impress you, but the fear of making a mistake turns him into a nervous wreck. It’s kind of cute actually.
- Personal space doesn’t matter anymore. This is one of the easiest ways to know if he wants you. Guys prefer using body language over words when it comes to showing you how they feel. A guy who likes you is more likely to invade your personal space. He stands closer and might even try to stand close enough to casually touch you.
- He’s ready to do girl things. Is he super excited to see the latest rom-com with you? Maybe he’s thrilled to check out that strange art exhibit you know he doesn’t understand. Why does he do it? He wants you. It’s amazing what guys are willing to do to get in your good graces, even if it means turning in their man card temporarily.
- He introduces you to his friends. When a guy starts introducing you to his friends, it means he wants you to be around for a while. It’s also his way of telling all his guy friends that he say you first. What can I say? Guys like to mark their territory. Just be glad he’s not peeing on your leg. If you want to know if he wants you, his friends are a good place to start.
- His appearance improves. Did he look like he just fell out of bed when you first met? Was his idea of fully dressed a stretched-out tank and saggy jeans? If he starts cleaning himself up and making an effort with his appearance, he’s definitely interested. Be proud you’ve made such a difference in him already.
- He can’t take his eyes off of you. Even if you’re not physically close, you notice him watching you. Not only is he mesmerized by you, but he’s making sure no other guys are approaching. The more focused a guy is on you, the more likely it is he wants you. Of course, it might not hurt to check your hair and makeup to make sure nothing weird happened.
- He gets cutesy. Is he showing you adorable cat videos or sending you cute emojis? You know that strange phenomenon where our voice changes when we’re around babies? Guys do something similar when they find a woman they want. They know we love cute, so they get cutesy to draw us in.
- He actually listens to what you say. I’m not sure why this doesn’t continue, but any guy who really wants you will make an effort to listen to what you have to say. Try talking about the latest celebrity breakup. If he seems interested, he’s probably interested in you.
- He tells you he wants you. Don’t overthink this one. If he says he wants you, you should know he means it. It’s the most obvious sign. Trust me when I say he’s not trying to trick you. A guy doesn’t say this unless it’s true.
- He touches you often. Does he lightly touch your leg or arm while talking? Does he push a stray strand of hair behind your ear? He wants you and can’t help himself from taking every small opportunity to touch you. These sweet little touches show he both respects and wants you.
- It’s easy to make him jealous. Bring around another guy or flirt with another guy when he’s across the one. How does he react? If he gets jealous easily, then he’s into you. You might not be his, but he’s working on it and he doesn’t want any other guy around.
- He texts day and night. I’m not talking about late-night sexts either. I’m talking about genuine texts to see how your day was or what you’re up to. He loves talking to you and he texts often just to keep himself at the top of your thoughts.
- He follows you on social media immediately. Women aren’t the only social media stalkers. If he’s already sent you a friend request before you get home, he wants you. He’s just using social media to learn more about you and interact with you more.
- He makes it a point to tell you that he’s not dating anyone. It’s like… okay? Thanks for the info? Guys don’t go on about their dating lives to women unless they’re into them. He’s trying to hint that he’s single so that hopefully you’ll know that he wants you. Makes a lot of sense, right?
The signs that a guy is interested in you are actually a bit easier to read when you see them laid out like that, right? If a couple of these things are happening, you know you’re in with a shot. If all of them are happening, he’s got it bad and he wants you like mad, so what are you waiting for?
So what if you know he doesn’t want you?
If you’ve been looking for all of the above signs and they’re suspiciously absent, it’s likely that he’s not feeling the same way that you are. That sucks, for sure, but it’s really not the end of the world. Here’s what to do next.
- Resist the urge to chase him. You would know if he wants you and he doesn’t. While it may be tempting to try to change his mind, to double your efforts to get his attention and win him over, please don’t do it. Not only is this totally degrading, it’s also a complete waste of time. You’re not going to wear him down and make him suddenly realize how much he likes you. If he didn’t notice your worth from the beginning, move on to someone who does.
- Put some distance between you. That means literally and figuratively. Not only should you not continue to hang out with him while secretly hoping that things will improve, but you also need to unfollow him on social media and delete his number from your phone. The more you see his Instagram selfies or his Twitter memes, the more you’re going to feel upset about his lack of reciprocation. You’re better off cutting the cord until you’re completely over him.
- Change your perspective on him. When we like someone, we start to put our partners on a pedestal and believe that they’re perfect when the truth is, no one is. If you built him up to be this total Adonis, it’s time to cut him back down to size. Think about all the things about him you don’t like, the things that would have annoyed or upset you if you actually dated. When you really come to terms with who this guy is, it becomes a lot easier to move on.
- Let yourself feel your feelings. While it’s important that you shift your perspective on a guy when you know he wants anyone but you, it’s just as important to validate your feelings and let yourself experience them fully so that you can process them and move on. That may mean crying a bit, ranting about him to your girlfriends, or swearing off men forever (or at least for a little while), go through that process so that you can come out the other side a wiser, more well-rounded woman. Your future self will thank you for it.
- Work on self-love. Even if you love yourself already, there’s always room for improvement when it comes to the relationship you have with you. It can be really demoralizing when the person you like rejects you, and it’s way too easy to turn that rejection inwards and begin to feel like maybe it’s because of something you did or something you’re lacking. It’s not and you’re not. You’re amazing just as you are, and now is the best time ever to remember that and to foster that love you have for yourself. You’re the only one who will never let you down, so make this a priority.